Tag Archives: Booze

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

I just am not a patient person

Lets discuss my dating life for a moment. I have been having a good run for a while now and you may remember when I decided to amp it up a bit by using dating websites. I have met some wonderful women and some total bums on my way through this little journey in single town.

Though, all these experiences and time put in, I have reaffirmed that I am not a patient person… let me splain:

Online dating takes a lot of time and energy. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “JP, why are you concerned with time, you have no job?” Great point! The reason is sometimes the nuances in human speech is not picked up via email or text. It takes more time and effort than I am willing to put in, to come across my charming self. Let’s face it, I can come across kind of, well, weird and creepy at times due to my strange references. Take the “human meat” reference, (Sunny fan’s should click that) when I told a woman that we should hit the morgue with a hot plate, referring to where we should go to dinner, she didn’t think it was funny.

Then there was this other girl who kind of got me, but she may have been a little too much (okay I may have been drinking when I wrote this). Here is an excerpt from an email exchange in regards to a photo montage on her profile:

JP- I really like the way you assembled your photos; very entertaining. I thought, “wow, she’s right because if one was to fight crime, a drink would definitely be in order.” By the way, who did win the epic “mortal combat” fight?Keep your pimp hand strong, JP
Girl- It’s true. If you ever get into the crime fighting business, drinks are a key to success. They allow the crime fighter to give the criminal a head start on their dastardly deeds or attempted escapes. The head start is another key because every successful crime fighter must make a dramatic entrance where all hope seems gone. Chuck Norris won the mortal combat fight. Chuck Norris is what I named my left leg. My pimp hand is named Silver Tongue A. Shizzle. When you’re as strong as me, the individual muscles and parts must be given their own identities.
JP- What would be the best drink to fight crime with? I mean tequila would certainly get things moving in the right direction, but I feel a scotch would be the optimum choice; eloquent and strong all rolled up in one. I like your dramatic entrance theory. It adds the element of both suspense and surprise. That it totally the way to go.I am not sure Chuck Norris can be your leg, because he is currently hanging out in my beard, popping out and punching unsuspecting individuals. I do however respect any woman with a strong pimp hand, but Tongue A. Shizzle sounds very wrong on so many levels. Say it out loud and you will see what I mean.
Girl- Pimp hands have to have sleazy sounding names. It’s the law. And I uphold the law. Beards holding individuals who punch unsuspecting individuals seems like it might be bordering on non-lawful activities. You better get control over your beard lest it become subject to my leg (i.e., the real CN) in my crime fighting engagements.
JP- Well, if it’s the law I need to work on a name for mine. Oh, you don’t control the beard! The beard has its own law. Kind of like Jules Winnfield (JW). He will quote you some Ezekiel 25:17 while he sorts you out. So, I will allow you CN and put him up against JW at any time, as he is “the tyranny of evil men”… now that i think about it, I may have to shave for an upcoming interview. Damn. When you are not crime fighting and getting into mortal combats, what kind of things do you like to do? Are there any good hang out spots to visit?
Girl- There are a lot of places to have beer and talk. Unfortunately, I often don’t know where I have wound up. I know I’ve been to at least a couple of the bars you mentioned, but I couldn’t tell you anything about them. I now realize I am a sheep when it comes to bars. This lowers my cool factor by a few points. Now I’m going to have to go do something to make up those points, like steal a pair of aviators from the local trendy shop. You’re beard’s criminal nature is trying to reincarnate itself into me. Unappreciated.
JP- Viva la goatee! (like viva la raza, just more goat like) So, you wander around aimlessly throughout DC, bouncing place to place? I think that raises you cool points at least +10. Also, if you steal a pair of aviators, you get double points if you swipe an Ed Hardy shirt with a skull on it. Because you can’t have a trendy hipster unless they wear a well-known tattoo artist’s clothing, sans personal tattoo’s. Oh, and a trucker hat…just tossing that out there. I see the beard is trying to manifest itself through you. Do you have a favorite place to hangout? What kind of things do you enjoy doing on the weekend?
Girl- I happen to have a shirt with a skull on it and a trucker hat – and I didn’t pay a dime for either item. How many points does that put me at? The school library is my favorite place to hang out. I enjoy reading big words and writing boring papers on the weekend. What about you?

So as you can see above, I lost interest around this point. Fun back and forth? Yes. Kind of a time killer to put out a one-sided anecdote and waiting for an equal or less than reply, not my speed. In fact, I probably would not have given this (time+investment= payoff) theory any thought, if a date the other night had not asked me, so how is (insert dating site) going for you. I went on to explain that I was bored with it and that I am better in person (TWSS).

I have decided to just leave the online dating to people with no social skills. My jokes, insights, and general conversation points, are not conducive to on-line interaction. I am and always have been, a personable individual. So, with that, I need to get out more and explore this wonderful city and stay away from the on-line creepers.

Oh, on another note: Being unemployed and trying to date, is fucking lame and I feel really bad about it. Nothing is worse than having to tell a woman, Umm, can we do something low-key? When what I really want to say is, I would really like to take you to Restaurant Eve… Yes, my ego and pride has taken a huge hit lately. It’s probably for the best though, to keep my ass in check.

I thought this was fitting

So long and thanks for all the fish…

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Riot Soda’s!

In the spirit of the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia season finale, I decided to share with you the finale of JP’s Funky Farmhouse Saison. For those wondering what the hell I am talking about, a Saison is classified by the Beer Judge Certification Program as:

Aroma: High fruitiness with low to moderate hop aroma and moderate to no herb, spice and alcohol aroma.  Fruity esters dominate the aroma and are often reminiscent of citrus fruits such as oranges or lemons.  A low to medium-high spicy or floral hop aroma is usually present.  A moderate spice aroma (from actual spice additions and/or yeast-derived phenols) complements the other aromatics.  When phenolics are present they tend to be peppery rather than clove-like.  A low to moderate sourness or acidity may be present, but should not overwhelm other characteristics.  Spice, hop and sour aromatics typically increase with the strength of the beer.  Alcohols are soft, spicy and low in intensity, and should not be hot or solventy.  The malt character is light.  No diacetyl.

Appearance: Often a distinctive pale orange but may be golden or amber in color.  There is no correlation between strength and color.  Long-lasting, dense, rocky white to ivory head resulting in characteristic “Belgian lace” on the glass as it fades.  Clarity is poor to good though haze is not unexpected in this type of unfiltered farmhouse beer.  Effervescent.

Flavor: Combination of fruity and spicy flavors supported by a soft malt character, a low to moderate alcohol presence and tart sourness.  Extremely high attenuation gives a characteristic dry finish.  The fruitiness is frequently citrusy (orange- or lemon-like).  The addition of one of more spices serve to add complexity, but shouldn’t dominate in the balance.  Low peppery yeast-derived phenols may be present instead of or in addition to spice additions; phenols tend to be lower than in many other Belgian beers, and complement the bitterness.  Hop flavor is low to moderate, and is generally spicy or earthy in character.  Hop bitterness may be moderate to high, but should not overwhelm fruity esters, spices, and malt.  Malt character is light but provides a sufficient background for the other flavors.  A low to moderate tart sourness may be present, but should not overwhelm other flavors.  Spices, hop bitterness and flavor, and sourness commonly increase with the strength of the beer while sweetness decreases.  No hot alcohol or solventy character.  High carbonation, moderately sulfate water, and high attenuation give a very dry finish with a long, bitter, sometimes spicy aftertaste.  The perceived bitterness is often higher than the IBU level would suggest.  No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium body.  Alcohol level can be medium to medium-high, though the warming character is low to medium.  No hot alcohol or solventy character.  Very high carbonation with an effervescent quality.  There is enough prickly acidity on the tongue to balance the very dry finish.  A low to moderate tart character may be present but should be refreshing and not to the point of puckering.

Overall Impression: A refreshing, medium to strong fruity/spicy ale with a distinctive yellow-orange color, highly carbonated, well hopped, and dry with a quenching acidity.

History: A seasonal summer style produced in Wallonia, the French-speaking part of Belgium.  Originally brewed at the end of the cool season to last through the warmer months before refrigeration was common.  It had to be sturdy enough to last for months but not too strong to be quenching and refreshing in the summer.  It is now brewed year-round in tiny, artisanal breweries whose buildings reflect their origins as farmhouses.

Comments: Varying strength examples exist (table beers of about 5% strength, typical export beers of about 6.5%, and stronger versions of 8%+).  Strong versions (6.5%-9.5%) and darker versions (copper to dark brown/black) should be entered as Belgian Specialty Ales (16E).  Sweetness decreases and spice, hop and sour character increases with strength.  Herb and spice additions often reflect the indigenous varieties available at the brewery.  High carbonation and extreme attenuation (85-95%) helps bring out the many flavors and to increase the perception of a dry finish.  All of these beers share somewhat higher levels of acidity than other Belgian styles while the optional sour flavor is often a variable house character of a particular brewery.

Ingredients: Pilsner malt dominates the grist though a portion of Vienna and/or Munich malt contributes color and complexity.  Sometimes contains other grains such as wheat and spelt.  Adjuncts such as sugar and honey can also serve to add complexity and thin the body.  Hop bitterness and flavor may be more noticeable than in many other Belgian styles.  A saison is sometimes dry-hopped.  Noble hops, Styrian or East Kent Goldings are commonly used.  A wide variety of herbs and spices are often used to add complexity and uniqueness in the stronger versions, but should always meld well with the yeast and hop character.  Varying degrees of acidity and/or sourness can be created by the use of gypsum, acidulated malt, a sour mash or Lactobacillus.  Hard water, common to most of Wallonia, can accentuate the bitterness and dry finish.

All this really means is the beer I brewed for the 2009 Sam Adams Long Shot Competition, that has been fermenting since February, has finally been bottled. I seriously thought about throwing out this batch, until my former boss gave me a wicked going away gift. I gave him 2 sample bottles of my last competition batch and he kept a bottle. Meaning, he kept a bottle of the original batch of JP’s Funky Farmhouse Ale and we opened it the day I left my job. Ladies and gentlemen, it was fabulous and I decided to press forward with the 5 gallons in my closet that has been temp controlled and untouched since February.

So, without further delay, here are some photos from the bottling process:

5 Gallons of glorious Riot Soda

Hops, Malts, and Grains go in, and beer comes out.

As I was filling this bottle and taking pics, it spilled all over the floor. The things I do for my readers.

Capping is kind of a pain in the ass, but must be done.

Riot Soda's Complete!

So, hopefully in one week these bad boys should be carbonated and ready for deployment. Maybe if you are lucky, you can try one too! Later Bitches!!!

P.S. I will be making an appearance at the Happy Hour at Private Bar this Friday. Holla atcha Boi if you will be there too!

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Filed under Booze

Winter Wonderland

Normally I really would post about the weather, unless it was a hurricane and the waves were really good. However, during my second week in Deez C, it got a little cold. Well, really effin cold. So, last Saturday this was the scene at my apartment:

My poor car!

My friend getting covered in snow

The entire complex was covered

Ahh the joys of trying to do a beer run in the snow

So those of you still enjoying 70 or 80 degree weather, just remember your friend in the great white north.

P.S. As I write this today, all of that wonderful snow has melted and it now looks like a swamp in front of my place. Boo for that!

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JP goes to DC… for good!

I am finally back after a very busy week. Hmm, where do I begin?

  • Thanksgiving, got to hang out with a portion of the extended family out in Tampa, which was very nice to see everyone. Packed up last Friday and said my good bye’s to all of my friends. I shoved my entire life’s collection of crap into a Uhaul.

Truck and Car ready for the trip up

  • Friday night/Saturday morning, we were properly sent off by 2 close friends at 1 am. My sister, dog, and I set out for DC all piled into a very tiny truck cab.

The view from the porch of where I just left. I will miss this view.

  • Saturday, rolled into town around 2:30 and got ready for the UF v. FSU game. During the first quarter I unloaded all of my shit into the house. Seriously, I just slammed and jammed all of it into the house. By 4pm I was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, watching Florida kick the piss out of FSU. What a great gift!
  • Sunday and Monday I spent my time unpacking and playing the “I haven’t seen or used this item in a year, so it goes in the trash” game. It’s amazing how much crap I truly have.
  • Tuesday, went to an interview at a temp agency and felt out right dumb after all the “office skills” testing, How do I not remember fractions? I so won at life that day.
  • Wednesday, my birthday. First off, thank you to everyone for the calls, tweets, texts and other various messages.[1] I went to an interview, which I was not very excited about to be honest. A friend of mine set it up for me and I went to hear out what they had to say… I was blown away in every way, about this job and possible career. It was one of the best interviews I have ever been on and was just chill. I met with the Project Manager and the Team Manager and the entire time we were cracking jokes and having a very serious conversation at the same time. I was a gleaming bright fucking star at this thing. As we parted ways they told me if I was a fit that I would receive an email with an application for hire.
  • On my drive home from the interview, I got an email from the job saying they want me! Got home and got an email that read “JP Welcome to DC! I am submitting your offer letter and putting it in for a shit ton of money.” You have to love when your friend is in control of your hiring status after the initial interview!
  • Thursday, had to be up early for an anal probing by the government. Seriously, I spent almost 4 hours of my life filling out paperwork about my life. It was a very odd and eerie feeling having ones life on paper for the government to see. My paranoia is still not under control.
  • Thursday night, went on a date with a very cool woman. At first, I didn’t know if we would have too much in common as she is not my typical “type”; no tattoos, nor piercings and well-educated. We met up with and  I was very impressed with her candor and conviviality. There was not lag or lull in the conversation and we joked all night long. Initially, had a few beers and discussed where we were from and what we would like to do with the future. It is very nice to sit and converse with a smart and sharp minded individual. After a few beers, we hit the town to see the National Christmas tree. It was a beautiful scene with the tree lit and the White House in the foreground.

  • After the tree we traipsed all over town in search of a bar, which was an adventure in itself. During our tour of the city we quoted random episodes of Sunny and just laughed. I had a really nice tine last night and would go out with her again. If it doesn’t work out on a dating level, I can see the two of us being friends.
  • Today, I have to get more probing from the government and I have dinner plans with some friends[2]
  • Tomorrow is the Florida v. Alabama game and I totally stoked. I have nothing but bloody mary’s and beer planned for the afternoon. Time to put the stresses of life on hold while I get tanked and yell at the tv.
  • Next week, after the massive hangover I will have, I will be back on the job hunt for some kind of temp work until the government clears me. Back to the hustle I guess.

I want to say thank you to all of my friends that have helped me in the past few weeks and everyone for their support. It has been quite a ride so far and there will be many more obstacles to over come in the next few weeks. Just know, your support keeps me hustling strong… PIMP HAND!


[1] @Ihatesomuch @Livitluvit I so would have come out and met you, but I had a very early and important meeting the next day. Rain check bishes!

[2] Actually, I was told that we have plans. This is why I need a social secretary!

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Filed under dating, Life

1 Year ago…

Check out how it all began: Click Here

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Filed under Life

JP goes Viral!

 

 

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Filed under Non-Sense