Tag Archives: 40 oz.

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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17 Comments

Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

Riot Soda’s!

In the spirit of the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia season finale, I decided to share with you the finale of JP’s Funky Farmhouse Saison. For those wondering what the hell I am talking about, a Saison is classified by the Beer Judge Certification Program as:

Aroma: High fruitiness with low to moderate hop aroma and moderate to no herb, spice and alcohol aroma.  Fruity esters dominate the aroma and are often reminiscent of citrus fruits such as oranges or lemons.  A low to medium-high spicy or floral hop aroma is usually present.  A moderate spice aroma (from actual spice additions and/or yeast-derived phenols) complements the other aromatics.  When phenolics are present they tend to be peppery rather than clove-like.  A low to moderate sourness or acidity may be present, but should not overwhelm other characteristics.  Spice, hop and sour aromatics typically increase with the strength of the beer.  Alcohols are soft, spicy and low in intensity, and should not be hot or solventy.  The malt character is light.  No diacetyl.

Appearance: Often a distinctive pale orange but may be golden or amber in color.  There is no correlation between strength and color.  Long-lasting, dense, rocky white to ivory head resulting in characteristic “Belgian lace” on the glass as it fades.  Clarity is poor to good though haze is not unexpected in this type of unfiltered farmhouse beer.  Effervescent.

Flavor: Combination of fruity and spicy flavors supported by a soft malt character, a low to moderate alcohol presence and tart sourness.  Extremely high attenuation gives a characteristic dry finish.  The fruitiness is frequently citrusy (orange- or lemon-like).  The addition of one of more spices serve to add complexity, but shouldn’t dominate in the balance.  Low peppery yeast-derived phenols may be present instead of or in addition to spice additions; phenols tend to be lower than in many other Belgian beers, and complement the bitterness.  Hop flavor is low to moderate, and is generally spicy or earthy in character.  Hop bitterness may be moderate to high, but should not overwhelm fruity esters, spices, and malt.  Malt character is light but provides a sufficient background for the other flavors.  A low to moderate tart sourness may be present, but should not overwhelm other flavors.  Spices, hop bitterness and flavor, and sourness commonly increase with the strength of the beer while sweetness decreases.  No hot alcohol or solventy character.  High carbonation, moderately sulfate water, and high attenuation give a very dry finish with a long, bitter, sometimes spicy aftertaste.  The perceived bitterness is often higher than the IBU level would suggest.  No diacetyl.

Mouthfeel: Light to medium body.  Alcohol level can be medium to medium-high, though the warming character is low to medium.  No hot alcohol or solventy character.  Very high carbonation with an effervescent quality.  There is enough prickly acidity on the tongue to balance the very dry finish.  A low to moderate tart character may be present but should be refreshing and not to the point of puckering.

Overall Impression: A refreshing, medium to strong fruity/spicy ale with a distinctive yellow-orange color, highly carbonated, well hopped, and dry with a quenching acidity.

History: A seasonal summer style produced in Wallonia, the French-speaking part of Belgium.  Originally brewed at the end of the cool season to last through the warmer months before refrigeration was common.  It had to be sturdy enough to last for months but not too strong to be quenching and refreshing in the summer.  It is now brewed year-round in tiny, artisanal breweries whose buildings reflect their origins as farmhouses.

Comments: Varying strength examples exist (table beers of about 5% strength, typical export beers of about 6.5%, and stronger versions of 8%+).  Strong versions (6.5%-9.5%) and darker versions (copper to dark brown/black) should be entered as Belgian Specialty Ales (16E).  Sweetness decreases and spice, hop and sour character increases with strength.  Herb and spice additions often reflect the indigenous varieties available at the brewery.  High carbonation and extreme attenuation (85-95%) helps bring out the many flavors and to increase the perception of a dry finish.  All of these beers share somewhat higher levels of acidity than other Belgian styles while the optional sour flavor is often a variable house character of a particular brewery.

Ingredients: Pilsner malt dominates the grist though a portion of Vienna and/or Munich malt contributes color and complexity.  Sometimes contains other grains such as wheat and spelt.  Adjuncts such as sugar and honey can also serve to add complexity and thin the body.  Hop bitterness and flavor may be more noticeable than in many other Belgian styles.  A saison is sometimes dry-hopped.  Noble hops, Styrian or East Kent Goldings are commonly used.  A wide variety of herbs and spices are often used to add complexity and uniqueness in the stronger versions, but should always meld well with the yeast and hop character.  Varying degrees of acidity and/or sourness can be created by the use of gypsum, acidulated malt, a sour mash or Lactobacillus.  Hard water, common to most of Wallonia, can accentuate the bitterness and dry finish.

All this really means is the beer I brewed for the 2009 Sam Adams Long Shot Competition, that has been fermenting since February, has finally been bottled. I seriously thought about throwing out this batch, until my former boss gave me a wicked going away gift. I gave him 2 sample bottles of my last competition batch and he kept a bottle. Meaning, he kept a bottle of the original batch of JP’s Funky Farmhouse Ale and we opened it the day I left my job. Ladies and gentlemen, it was fabulous and I decided to press forward with the 5 gallons in my closet that has been temp controlled and untouched since February.

So, without further delay, here are some photos from the bottling process:

5 Gallons of glorious Riot Soda

Hops, Malts, and Grains go in, and beer comes out.

As I was filling this bottle and taking pics, it spilled all over the floor. The things I do for my readers.

Capping is kind of a pain in the ass, but must be done.

Riot Soda's Complete!

So, hopefully in one week these bad boys should be carbonated and ready for deployment. Maybe if you are lucky, you can try one too! Later Bitches!!!

P.S. I will be making an appearance at the Happy Hour at Private Bar this Friday. Holla atcha Boi if you will be there too!

7 Comments

Filed under Booze

Peace to the East!

What up Beeetches!

I was going to write about an idea1 I had about creating an urban drug Olympics, where you would take users of things such as meth, crack, pcp, and smack, and pit them against each other in competition. Think Cops2, just more creative and an awards ceremony at the end; nothing amazes me more than a tweaker running from the cops.

Although the Junkie Olympics3 will not fully be discussed here today, something more important will be.

NA, NA, NAH, NA, NA I am going to Beer Fest!

Yes, my name is JP and I am five. If you have been reading for a while you may know I have been brewing my own beer for about 7-8 years and I keep getting better with ages.4 I have always heard about the Great American Beer Fest in Colorado, and have always wanted to go. I realize they charge too much and the cup they give you is pretty small, but you are also talking to the guy who drank Kona Brewing Company’s Pipeline Porter dry at the NOVA Brew Fest and got totally hammered with brass in the State Department; I love my friends.

Its not about the price or the size of your glass5 it is the Fest itself. To wander the isles checking out new and upcoming breweries or the old guard. The entire festival is broken into regions, so of course I have my plan of attack all mapped out. I am going to destroy the Pacific and Rocky Mountain sections, as we in the East, rarely get the chance to check them out. Don’t get me wrong, the East has many of my favorites, but the West is like the rare tuna you can only get at the pricey sushi joint you have always wanted to go to.

Anyways, my point is I am really excited about trying new things and having a well deserved good time. Next week I have some pretty awesome guests stopping by to season your melon with goodness. So, at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow, I will be taking off to end my 35 days of sobriety and hopefully starting a new or at least different chapter in the Gospel of JP.

1Like all good ideas this one came to me while dropping a deuce the other day.

2I know you have watched. We all have watched at some point in our life.

3Its mine. You can borrow, but don’t steal.

4Can someone remind me to bottle the Saison I have fermenting in DC while I am there please?

5You totally were expecting me to reference my penis, I know.

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Filed under Travel

I got friends in low places… whores.

My friends never cease to amaze me. We all lead very different lives and typically hang out on the weekend, due to our messed up schedules. Well, I thought that my not drinking would possible alienate my friends, as we all go out together. Come to find out we are friends, because a real connection. We bust balls and talk shit, but thats how we show love. I have made it exactly 30 days with no alcohol being consumed.

I thought that it would have been harder than it has been, but really, its been very mellow. The above mentioned friends have been very supportive. Although Saturday, my friend brought over roughly 40 cases of beer (I am not kidding) the entire fridge (see below) was full on every shelf and drawer. So much beer that Chocolate Bear had to take half home with him. Speaking of CB, he kept pushing beer on me during the game, I love that guy. Ass.

The man cave is now complete

The man cave is now complete

Though, a very special mention goes to Justagirl as she has been on the same plan as I. Her supportive words and threats of violence have kept me on track in this little adventure. Texting each other complaining that we want a beer or dear lord Baby Jesus, the Russian Standard bottle is talking shit and calling me a pussy again. She was there in a metaphysical sense to keep me in line. For that, I am grateful. On Friday, I will be joining her for our first beer in 35 days then tackling the Great American Beer Festival in Denver; one I thought I would never have the opportunity to go to. Lets just say, all around I am wicked pumped.

So, Friday I bail out for beer fest then jam down to the islands for a week. Next week a few special guests will be popping in and filling the void. Before I embark on this small adventure I would also like to thank my readers. Those that left positive comments or the occasional, “dude, whats wrong with you?” I totally appreciate your support as well. Just another small accomplishment that reinforces that I can do anything I set out to do. Cocky? Yes. Point proven to myself… Priceless.

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Filed under Friends

The Gospel’s 100th Anniversary

Welcome to TMI Thursdays! As LiLu always says: Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

Today is my 100th post here at the Gospel and just like when it started, I still have no clue what I am doing with it. I feel my writing is sub-par, yet I keep attracting readers. Upon reflection of 100 various posts I still don’t have a cohesive thesis or outline for this blog. What I realized is there probably never will be. I will never have a great theme blog and I am fine with this.

So how does one celebrate the 100th? By refelcting on the author’s top 3 posts or the 3 that sucked the least. Anyways, if you are new or have been down with deathrow from day one, thank you coming coming by. I do have to say it is quite fortuitous that this 100th lands on TMI Thursday. So without further delay:

Best (or grossest) TMI Thursday post: If you have a weak stomach, don’t press forward…

The post I feel I was most on my game: Let me peak at your soul…

And last but not least the post that kicked this blog off: So, this is JP…

Again, thanks for dropping in and I hope you celebrate this upcoming 4th of July weekend and your country, by blowing up a small piece of it.

JP

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Filed under TMI Thursday

Chillin in the LBC

Hey guys,

Sorry for the long absence! I have been getting nailed with no lube at work and lets just say, I didn’t even get a kiss afterwards. So, with that said, my team is in the Playoff’s tonight and we should all wish them luck… GO MAGIC. They are playing out in L.A. so I decided I should drop in on the LBC and hit on the beautiful Lbluca! Today we are talking our favorite subject… BEER!

So, drop by and check her sexy ass out, I know I will.

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Filed under Friends

On your marks, get set, brew!

Once again it is time for the Sam Adams Longshot competition. Last year I entered in the French/Belgium ale catagory, sub-class Saison. This has been my pet project for a year now ever since I received the results from my last entry. The cool thing abut this competition is the judges are brutal and don’t let much slip by them. Let me highlight a few comments from the judges about my beer last year:

Would pay money for this beer.

Excellent job on the dry finish.

Good complexity and fermentation, just needs a bit more tart.

I scored an overall 38 out of 50 which equates to an excellent rating. 45-50 is outstanding and will put you in the winners circle. So, the big problem I have run into is the acidity or “tartness” of this style beer. While I was in DC I went to a home brew shop with a very knowledgable staff, that turned me onto an acidic-malt. Hopefully this will do the job.

Oh yea!

Oh yea!

Right now I have 5 gallons of this awesome brew cooking away in my closet. I am excited. But, I think everyone should join in on this. I know what you are thinking, but  it is cheap and easy (like me) and above all fun. You do not have to be a bio-chemist, but an understanding of how bacteria works does help.

Cooking up something good

Cooking up something good

If you have ever thought about brewing you own beer I suggest starting off light. Go with a small kit like Mr. Beer, which is what I started with and I learned how everything works. Plus, if you screw up a batch, you are not wasting 60 bucks and 5 gals. of beer. Trust me its not fun when this happens. In fact what I like to do now is slip in a couple of home brews into a cooler at a party and see the reaction. If people like it, the recipe stays, if not well, out it goes.  I have been thinking about joining a brewing club once my roots are planted. Also, I may have to cast out an invite for a “taste testing” session for those bloggers over the age of 21. Who knows, maybe one day I will have my own brew pub! Hell, even the big guys started out small.

9 Comments

Filed under Booze