Tag Archives: Friends

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

Winter Wonderland

Normally I really would post about the weather, unless it was a hurricane and the waves were really good. However, during my second week in Deez C, it got a little cold. Well, really effin cold. So, last Saturday this was the scene at my apartment:

My poor car!

My friend getting covered in snow

The entire complex was covered

Ahh the joys of trying to do a beer run in the snow

So those of you still enjoying 70 or 80 degree weather, just remember your friend in the great white north.

P.S. As I write this today, all of that wonderful snow has melted and it now looks like a swamp in front of my place. Boo for that!

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Filed under Life

JP goes to DC… for good!

I am finally back after a very busy week. Hmm, where do I begin?

  • Thanksgiving, got to hang out with a portion of the extended family out in Tampa, which was very nice to see everyone. Packed up last Friday and said my good bye’s to all of my friends. I shoved my entire life’s collection of crap into a Uhaul.

Truck and Car ready for the trip up

  • Friday night/Saturday morning, we were properly sent off by 2 close friends at 1 am. My sister, dog, and I set out for DC all piled into a very tiny truck cab.

The view from the porch of where I just left. I will miss this view.

  • Saturday, rolled into town around 2:30 and got ready for the UF v. FSU game. During the first quarter I unloaded all of my shit into the house. Seriously, I just slammed and jammed all of it into the house. By 4pm I was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, watching Florida kick the piss out of FSU. What a great gift!
  • Sunday and Monday I spent my time unpacking and playing the “I haven’t seen or used this item in a year, so it goes in the trash” game. It’s amazing how much crap I truly have.
  • Tuesday, went to an interview at a temp agency and felt out right dumb after all the “office skills” testing, How do I not remember fractions? I so won at life that day.
  • Wednesday, my birthday. First off, thank you to everyone for the calls, tweets, texts and other various messages.[1] I went to an interview, which I was not very excited about to be honest. A friend of mine set it up for me and I went to hear out what they had to say… I was blown away in every way, about this job and possible career. It was one of the best interviews I have ever been on and was just chill. I met with the Project Manager and the Team Manager and the entire time we were cracking jokes and having a very serious conversation at the same time. I was a gleaming bright fucking star at this thing. As we parted ways they told me if I was a fit that I would receive an email with an application for hire.
  • On my drive home from the interview, I got an email from the job saying they want me! Got home and got an email that read “JP Welcome to DC! I am submitting your offer letter and putting it in for a shit ton of money.” You have to love when your friend is in control of your hiring status after the initial interview!
  • Thursday, had to be up early for an anal probing by the government. Seriously, I spent almost 4 hours of my life filling out paperwork about my life. It was a very odd and eerie feeling having ones life on paper for the government to see. My paranoia is still not under control.
  • Thursday night, went on a date with a very cool woman. At first, I didn’t know if we would have too much in common as she is not my typical “type”; no tattoos, nor piercings and well-educated. We met up with and  I was very impressed with her candor and conviviality. There was not lag or lull in the conversation and we joked all night long. Initially, had a few beers and discussed where we were from and what we would like to do with the future. It is very nice to sit and converse with a smart and sharp minded individual. After a few beers, we hit the town to see the National Christmas tree. It was a beautiful scene with the tree lit and the White House in the foreground.

  • After the tree we traipsed all over town in search of a bar, which was an adventure in itself. During our tour of the city we quoted random episodes of Sunny and just laughed. I had a really nice tine last night and would go out with her again. If it doesn’t work out on a dating level, I can see the two of us being friends.
  • Today, I have to get more probing from the government and I have dinner plans with some friends[2]
  • Tomorrow is the Florida v. Alabama game and I totally stoked. I have nothing but bloody mary’s and beer planned for the afternoon. Time to put the stresses of life on hold while I get tanked and yell at the tv.
  • Next week, after the massive hangover I will have, I will be back on the job hunt for some kind of temp work until the government clears me. Back to the hustle I guess.

I want to say thank you to all of my friends that have helped me in the past few weeks and everyone for their support. It has been quite a ride so far and there will be many more obstacles to over come in the next few weeks. Just know, your support keeps me hustling strong… PIMP HAND!


[1] @Ihatesomuch @Livitluvit I so would have come out and met you, but I had a very early and important meeting the next day. Rain check bishes!

[2] Actually, I was told that we have plans. This is why I need a social secretary!

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Filed under dating, Life

JP goes Viral!

 

 

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Filed under Non-Sense

Briefly interrupt your service

demotivational-poster-Motivation - Office Space

 

 

Few reasons why I have not been on in a while:

  1. Since I quit my job, they have given me a replacement to train. This means I have the “new guy” sitting next to me all day as I show him the ropes. This will go on until I leave. This means no blog, Twitter, or sexy G-Chat messages ya’ll are used to. I feel disconnected.
  2. I am still recovering from all the parties that have been thrown in my honor.
  3. I have been very distracted with some new things in my life.
  4. Getting ready to move has been a bit stressful.
  5. By the end of the day, I have nothing more to say, to anyone.

 

I have been tempted to do V-Log if I can figure it out. So, stay tuned and I will try to bring you a few stories from the past few weeks.

 

Thanks for dropping in,

JP

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Filed under Life

The Tracksuit Mafia!

What do you get when 4 assholes dressed alike in tracksuits? That’s right, you get the #tracksuit mafia. An idea months in the making… I would have posted this yesterday, but there were issues.[1] Where do I begin? Well, I guess a good old fashion time line is in order.[2]

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The Tracksuit Mafia...

  • Made a trip to Chocolate bears house and picked up a bottle of Jack, Bushmills, Vodka, 2 Jagers, a Red Bull, and a pimp cup.
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Pimp Cup in Hand... Yes that went everywhere with us.

  • Back to the Honey Comb Hideout for an hour long pre-game.
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Chocolate Bear "thugged out" with Winston

  • Crew shows up and nick-names were picked. I was Micky 4 knuckles.[3]
  • The power hour concludes and we roll to our normal spot where we met up with some friends. Our bar tab was dutifully named “the guido’s” tab.
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Gotta love your "friends"

  • We did not pay for that tab… someone we met there did, cause they thought we were awesome.[4] Also, there were some really weird guys trying to convince Chocolate Bear he needed to fight in the MMA. It was weird.
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Guy that picked up our tab

  • We decided we needed to go to the local strip club, because, well, where else do 4 guys in tracksuits go? On the way there, we were cut off by some drunk asshole that called the big guy a “nigger”. Now, usually there would have been violence in this situation[5] but there was a cop right next to us with some other drunk asshole pulled over. This set the tone for the rest of the night.
  • Hit the strip club hard! They were also having a costume contest, which we were convinced we would win… Not really, especially when strippers entered. Damn. We did get on stage and saunter around though. At is at this point where we decided to use fake accents, not on the strippers, but everyone else around us. When asked about my costume, I used the line “sorry, my English, no, so good”. I had several people yelling the same thing they originally said and I did not laugh, instead I went with, “oh, kusstume? Oh da, kusstume! Me gangsta…Bang..Bang, while making a gun from my fingers. It was classic, because they bought into my bullshit.
  • Rolled out of the strip club and this is where is gets a bit, um, fuzzy.
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These were the shots, but I have no idea where we were...

  • I think we might have stopped off for Jager shots, but I really can’t be certain it was that night. We did end up in a more upscale neighborhood and at this one bar/club where a lot of cougar hunting is done. I decided Jimbo needed to bag himself a couger. Though, every time we go there the bouncer gives us a hard time about the way we are dressed. I am all, “come on bro, tracksuits! You are required by law to let us in.” He did and he shouldn’t have. We walked in and the place was dead. Slammed a single drink and bailed. On the way out I said something to the effect of I hate you or wtf. The doorman just laughed at us. Rightfully so.
  • As we are rolling down the street going to meet up with our friend, a truck in front of us was screwing around and it pissed off Chocolate Bear (CB), so he honked the horn.[6] The guy in front of us got out of the truck and so did CB. Me, J, and Jimbo were still in the back watching, as CB can handle himself…except, 3 other dudes got out and approached. So, the 3 of us in the back got out and we were confronted by an entire family reunion. Seriously, 3 cars were behind us and 2 cars in the 7-11 parking lot, equallying 30 about 30 dudes to the 4 of us. By this point I had conceded that I was going to get punched in the face.[7] It was as if the gangs of New York was remade and everyone was wearing Fubu.
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Imagine this scene, only in Fubu.

  • Somehow, we managed to get out unscathed. There was people yelling 5-0 and it might have helped. Regardless, it was something that I never thought would happen. I am so glad nothing went down, cause that’s the kind of shit that ends up on the news.
  • We finally made it to our friend’s bar. I walked in and ordered a beer, only to be denied, because we got there right at two.
  • Things went fuzzy again and food was involved at some point. It was pretty rough.
  • Woke up to see a buffet from Krystals had been consumed and noticed several bottles of Jager empty along with 100’s of beer bottles. Insane.
  • Watched the Florida Gators kick the shit out of Georgia!
  • Started it all over again. My costume started out as the guy who was too hung over to make a costume, then I switched to being a “transformer.” I start out as a regular guy, then by the end of the night, I am a drunk asshole.
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Jimbo as Ashe

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Ahh, choices...To be good or to be bad.

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When you try to smoke celery, you know you have had too much to drink.

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Doing what he does best

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And I am done...

That is the story of this last weekend. Thank you…


[1] The issue was I was still hung over on Monday and it was vicious.

 

[2] Sorry, I really wanted to try something different, but I am too challenged today.

[3] Think Franky 4 fingers, but more Irish.

[4] Umm, cause we are awesome!

[5] All of us would have gotten out of the car and kicked his ass.

[6] Now, in most situations, the next series of events would have gone way different.

[7] I am pretty, but I can take a punch or two when needed.

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Filed under Friends

The New Cool Way to Date…#fail

With my newly found sense of adventure[1], I feel it would be a good time to branch out in other aspects in my life, particularly in the dating department. Over the past year I have met and dated several amazing women, women that given the right circumstances would have worked out brilliantly. Sadly, it was just not meant to be. School, distance, religion and various other factors have left these amazing and beautiful people just out of my reach.

I could be sad, upset, disillusioned and my usual curmudgeon self about this matter, but I am not. In fact I have a completely different take on the issue. I feel that by meeting and dating these women, I have slowly learned more of what I am looking for in life. They have shown me that I am doing something right with my life and they are the kind of people I want to surround my self with. Though, this newly found enlightenment does not change one simple fact… I am single.

My current situation may be familiar to you, the reader. New phase in life and coming to terms with what is important to one’s self. With all the stresses coming on, it would be nice to have a good distraction or two. In this assessment though, I need to figure out a few things in regards to the approach. I have never tried Internet dating and my only experience in the dating “scene” has been the traditional meet and greet or the out and about pick up. Both have worked very well for me in the past; however, being in a new city with such a diverse population, I feel I should give the Internet a fair shake.

Lets examine a few key sites and my understanding of how they work:

 

OKCupid: I guess it’s a free dating site? PQ tells me, “They work on a ‘matching’ system based on the answers you give to the questions. The more question’s you answer, the more they can ‘figure out’ your matches. But just fill out your profile and go looking for matches. It’s better if you go look at matches/girls you could be interested in vs. them coming to you.”

Plenty of Fish: This is a free dating site that resembles the traditional “bar” model of dating. You have a profile and a small “about me” section. Basically, you are trolling pictures for what you think is your best suited match.

Match: This is a paid site that works similarly to Plenty of Fish. My understanding is that it is a more upscale version of the dating pool; kind of like paying to get into the VIP section of a club.

Eharmony: From what my roommate has told me[2] it is a Christian based paid dating site. They have you fill out an enormously long survey about yourself and likes/dislikes. Then, they match you based on the standard deviation in their “dating equation.” It seems that this is a very serious site for people looking to “find the one.”

Now, I guess once I select a site or several, depending on how I feel, I create a profile that would best describe me. This is where the fine line of truth and bullshit get blurry. When I talk, the subtle nuances of my nature come out; however, with my writing, some times my sarcasm comes across cynical. I will need to work on this.

Then, there is the “I found someone and need to interact” portion of this event.[3] I would then have to send the girl a message with some clever headline or something that does not scream douche bag. Then, make some one-way casual conversation with them and hope they respond. If all goes well, the lines of communication slowly elevate until the meeting point.

At the meeting point is where I am fine. In social situations I thrive and love interaction. I am just not sure how this whole “game” works. What are the rules? How do I make my profile say what I want to express, without being a total narcissistic head case that I usually am? What is the best way to start the conversation without being a complete asshat?

For these these answers, I turn to you, my readers. Please, enlighten me, as I am new to this game…

 


[1] See I quit my job and moving ASAP

 

[2] She’s tried it

 

[3] I think of this as a Miss America Pageant. No, Miss Venezuela, cause that’s just one of the greatest things ever. God bless Telemundo!

 

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Filed under dating