Tag Archives: sadist

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

The Tracksuit Mafia!

What do you get when 4 assholes dressed alike in tracksuits? That’s right, you get the #tracksuit mafia. An idea months in the making… I would have posted this yesterday, but there were issues.[1] Where do I begin? Well, I guess a good old fashion time line is in order.[2]

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The Tracksuit Mafia...

  • Made a trip to Chocolate bears house and picked up a bottle of Jack, Bushmills, Vodka, 2 Jagers, a Red Bull, and a pimp cup.
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Pimp Cup in Hand... Yes that went everywhere with us.

  • Back to the Honey Comb Hideout for an hour long pre-game.
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Chocolate Bear "thugged out" with Winston

  • Crew shows up and nick-names were picked. I was Micky 4 knuckles.[3]
  • The power hour concludes and we roll to our normal spot where we met up with some friends. Our bar tab was dutifully named “the guido’s” tab.
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Gotta love your "friends"

  • We did not pay for that tab… someone we met there did, cause they thought we were awesome.[4] Also, there were some really weird guys trying to convince Chocolate Bear he needed to fight in the MMA. It was weird.
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Guy that picked up our tab

  • We decided we needed to go to the local strip club, because, well, where else do 4 guys in tracksuits go? On the way there, we were cut off by some drunk asshole that called the big guy a “nigger”. Now, usually there would have been violence in this situation[5] but there was a cop right next to us with some other drunk asshole pulled over. This set the tone for the rest of the night.
  • Hit the strip club hard! They were also having a costume contest, which we were convinced we would win… Not really, especially when strippers entered. Damn. We did get on stage and saunter around though. At is at this point where we decided to use fake accents, not on the strippers, but everyone else around us. When asked about my costume, I used the line “sorry, my English, no, so good”. I had several people yelling the same thing they originally said and I did not laugh, instead I went with, “oh, kusstume? Oh da, kusstume! Me gangsta…Bang..Bang, while making a gun from my fingers. It was classic, because they bought into my bullshit.
  • Rolled out of the strip club and this is where is gets a bit, um, fuzzy.
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These were the shots, but I have no idea where we were...

  • I think we might have stopped off for Jager shots, but I really can’t be certain it was that night. We did end up in a more upscale neighborhood and at this one bar/club where a lot of cougar hunting is done. I decided Jimbo needed to bag himself a couger. Though, every time we go there the bouncer gives us a hard time about the way we are dressed. I am all, “come on bro, tracksuits! You are required by law to let us in.” He did and he shouldn’t have. We walked in and the place was dead. Slammed a single drink and bailed. On the way out I said something to the effect of I hate you or wtf. The doorman just laughed at us. Rightfully so.
  • As we are rolling down the street going to meet up with our friend, a truck in front of us was screwing around and it pissed off Chocolate Bear (CB), so he honked the horn.[6] The guy in front of us got out of the truck and so did CB. Me, J, and Jimbo were still in the back watching, as CB can handle himself…except, 3 other dudes got out and approached. So, the 3 of us in the back got out and we were confronted by an entire family reunion. Seriously, 3 cars were behind us and 2 cars in the 7-11 parking lot, equallying 30 about 30 dudes to the 4 of us. By this point I had conceded that I was going to get punched in the face.[7] It was as if the gangs of New York was remade and everyone was wearing Fubu.
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Imagine this scene, only in Fubu.

  • Somehow, we managed to get out unscathed. There was people yelling 5-0 and it might have helped. Regardless, it was something that I never thought would happen. I am so glad nothing went down, cause that’s the kind of shit that ends up on the news.
  • We finally made it to our friend’s bar. I walked in and ordered a beer, only to be denied, because we got there right at two.
  • Things went fuzzy again and food was involved at some point. It was pretty rough.
  • Woke up to see a buffet from Krystals had been consumed and noticed several bottles of Jager empty along with 100’s of beer bottles. Insane.
  • Watched the Florida Gators kick the shit out of Georgia!
  • Started it all over again. My costume started out as the guy who was too hung over to make a costume, then I switched to being a “transformer.” I start out as a regular guy, then by the end of the night, I am a drunk asshole.
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Jimbo as Ashe

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Ahh, choices...To be good or to be bad.

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When you try to smoke celery, you know you have had too much to drink.

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Doing what he does best

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And I am done...

That is the story of this last weekend. Thank you…


[1] The issue was I was still hung over on Monday and it was vicious.

 

[2] Sorry, I really wanted to try something different, but I am too challenged today.

[3] Think Franky 4 fingers, but more Irish.

[4] Umm, cause we are awesome!

[5] All of us would have gotten out of the car and kicked his ass.

[6] Now, in most situations, the next series of events would have gone way different.

[7] I am pretty, but I can take a punch or two when needed.

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The New Cool Way to Date…#fail

With my newly found sense of adventure[1], I feel it would be a good time to branch out in other aspects in my life, particularly in the dating department. Over the past year I have met and dated several amazing women, women that given the right circumstances would have worked out brilliantly. Sadly, it was just not meant to be. School, distance, religion and various other factors have left these amazing and beautiful people just out of my reach.

I could be sad, upset, disillusioned and my usual curmudgeon self about this matter, but I am not. In fact I have a completely different take on the issue. I feel that by meeting and dating these women, I have slowly learned more of what I am looking for in life. They have shown me that I am doing something right with my life and they are the kind of people I want to surround my self with. Though, this newly found enlightenment does not change one simple fact… I am single.

My current situation may be familiar to you, the reader. New phase in life and coming to terms with what is important to one’s self. With all the stresses coming on, it would be nice to have a good distraction or two. In this assessment though, I need to figure out a few things in regards to the approach. I have never tried Internet dating and my only experience in the dating “scene” has been the traditional meet and greet or the out and about pick up. Both have worked very well for me in the past; however, being in a new city with such a diverse population, I feel I should give the Internet a fair shake.

Lets examine a few key sites and my understanding of how they work:

 

OKCupid: I guess it’s a free dating site? PQ tells me, “They work on a ‘matching’ system based on the answers you give to the questions. The more question’s you answer, the more they can ‘figure out’ your matches. But just fill out your profile and go looking for matches. It’s better if you go look at matches/girls you could be interested in vs. them coming to you.”

Plenty of Fish: This is a free dating site that resembles the traditional “bar” model of dating. You have a profile and a small “about me” section. Basically, you are trolling pictures for what you think is your best suited match.

Match: This is a paid site that works similarly to Plenty of Fish. My understanding is that it is a more upscale version of the dating pool; kind of like paying to get into the VIP section of a club.

Eharmony: From what my roommate has told me[2] it is a Christian based paid dating site. They have you fill out an enormously long survey about yourself and likes/dislikes. Then, they match you based on the standard deviation in their “dating equation.” It seems that this is a very serious site for people looking to “find the one.”

Now, I guess once I select a site or several, depending on how I feel, I create a profile that would best describe me. This is where the fine line of truth and bullshit get blurry. When I talk, the subtle nuances of my nature come out; however, with my writing, some times my sarcasm comes across cynical. I will need to work on this.

Then, there is the “I found someone and need to interact” portion of this event.[3] I would then have to send the girl a message with some clever headline or something that does not scream douche bag. Then, make some one-way casual conversation with them and hope they respond. If all goes well, the lines of communication slowly elevate until the meeting point.

At the meeting point is where I am fine. In social situations I thrive and love interaction. I am just not sure how this whole “game” works. What are the rules? How do I make my profile say what I want to express, without being a total narcissistic head case that I usually am? What is the best way to start the conversation without being a complete asshat?

For these these answers, I turn to you, my readers. Please, enlighten me, as I am new to this game…

 


[1] See I quit my job and moving ASAP

 

[2] She’s tried it

 

[3] I think of this as a Miss America Pageant. No, Miss Venezuela, cause that’s just one of the greatest things ever. God bless Telemundo!

 

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Filed under dating

Musings of a Mad Man

Imagine if Hunter S. Thompson did win the election to be Sheriff, or Cobra Commander’s world domination plot succeeded and he overthrew G.I. Joe. What if Sleeping Beauty never got her kiss?

 

Why does the American ideal of “good” have to dominate our society so much? Why can’t Connor & Murphy McManus rid Boston of all the evil doer’s in their prescribed manner and not be shunned for their actions? Why is marijuana the scourge of American drug policy?

 

Think about it…

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Filed under Non-Sense

¡Viva la Revolucion!

It wasn’t long ago when change was everywhere. Change that required hard work and great sacrfice on all that participated. Lives were lost and ideals were either proven or rejected. Regardless of the end result, these hearty men and women stopped talking and made shit happen. These days, we as a society are too weak to truly stage a revolution of the past, but instead we have our own personal struggles and strife. It is the assault on one’s personal identity and comfort zone that is this generations claim to independence. As much as I want this post to be a valiant profession of my internal struggle, it is really just a scared guy trying to sort it all out.

Revolution

On Friday, after I unloaded all the stress of my week onto print, I decided that my life needs to go in a new direction. The firm feeling that I am truly on my own, in all matters, boiled over and shook my core a bit. I have accepted that I am on my own and I will be in control of my success or failure. I had been holding off on all concrete plans about moving and starting school, all the while saying, “I am just not sure what I am doing yet.” That all changed on Friday afternoon. I rang the school that I was accepted to in the D.C. area and told them I will be attending class in January. BAM! Trigger pulled on grad school.

Toxic friendships, career futility, brazen alcohol abuse, and a reckless love life seemed like poor choices until I saw It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

On Sunday, I told both roommates that I would be out of the house and back into my apt in VA the weekend of Thanksgiving. I figure that I will hang out with the extended family before I go that way we all can spend time together before I am all broke. The problem with my moving plan is that I will be doing all of this a few days from my birthday (December 2) and of course a month before Christmas. Never said my timing was perfect, just doing what I can do.Today, I have handed in my formal resignation at work. I am giving them 5 weeks notice to get someone to fill my spot. Whether they fill it or not, its their issue. I am giving them ample time to get things off the ground. So, now that I have put this plan into motion (not really a plan, more like action) I have to do this. I do not have a job lined up where I am going and have never left a job without having another one lined up. I am freaking the hell out, but it is a calm and focused sort of energy.

Here is how this will go down:

  • Move the rest of my stuff to D.C. before my birthday.
  • Find  a job, any job, within the first week or two.
  • Start a full load (3 classes) the second week of January.

Here is what I am worried about:

  • Will have a trouble finding a job and will run into financial difficulty. Nothing like a 29 y/o male with no job to really attract the ladies.
  • Will be 29, broke, and really up a creek.
  • Will not be able to give christmas gifts to those I love. Christmas in my family is a huge event and it looks like I will be spending it alone. I don’t mind the lonely part, its the not being able to get anyone anything that really bothers me.
  • I could fail and fail hard.

Positives:

  • I am finally doing what I have been talking about for over a year. Maybe not the way I wanted to, but it is on.
  • I have the potential to succeed and do great.
  • There are people that support this decision and really don’t think it is too crazy.
  • I am advancing my education in a way I have always wanted and no one can take that from me.
  • I have done crazy shit before and come out on top.

So, I am going to see how it all plays out let it ride. I just keep telling myself one man’s genious is another man’s insanity.

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Filed under Life

Come on, go for the extra point!

If you follow me on Twitter you know bits of the story,so here is last night all rolled up:

Most weekdays I enjoy a nice ride on my bike. I typically do about 10 miles on several pre-planned course through the town. Yesterday was no exception, although I got a wild hair and decided to go for the long 17 miler. I have done it many times and really enjoy it. Seeing how I will be out of town I figured, why not go for it. Well, this is why:

  1. I cannot find the mouth piece to my camel back system, meaning no hydration.

  2. The head winds last night were like 15-20 mph and a total pain.

  3. It was still 90 degrees outside.

So, I headed out because, well, lets just say a clean system, bored mind, and lack of sex, can lead any man to do stupid things. I am no exception. Everything was going fine until…

  1. I was on mile 13 and can flying around a corner, power sliding around it, and popped my back tire. The slide was wicked awesome and I should have gotten a high five for it. Like in the movies kind of power slide, where you think the dude is going to wipe out, but totally doesn’t.

  2. With the tire completely flat I was 4 miles from the house and decided to just suck it up and walk it off. Well, if you ever have rode long distances on a bike, you know your legs are like a combination of Goodyear and Elmers. As you walk, you notice your legs are all wobbly and your are moving at a snails pace.

  3. Not kidding, took me like 30 minutes to walk home bike in tow. Pain in the ass.

  4. Get to my front door, turn the handle, FAIL! My roommate locked the door as he left. So, there I was, bike, sweat, dry mouth, and a locked up house. What did I do? Of course I threw my bike and said everything the U.S. Navy had ever taught me.1 My neighbor, who does not speak English (who is very hot btw) is just starring at me. I wave and say, “hola” and she waves back.

  5. Find a knife in my car and proceed to use the skills I acquired back in high school.2 Got in and guzzled a gallon of water.3

So, as I processed all of what had happened over the past hour or so, I decided I was too tired to be pissed. Seriously, I felt defeated.. Like Jonathan Phillips punted my goods for the extra point. I did text my roommate and tell him about the events and that basically he was a dick, but I wasn’t mad, but I should be. Oh well, I will make him drive me to the airport at 5:30 am on Friday as retribution.

1No, I was not in the Navy, but I would assume they have a very descriptive vocabulary for the profane.

2I went to a very ghetto public school. I learned how to break into houses and cars in my shop class courtesy of my class mates. Good skill to have when you lock yourself out.

3I really wanted a beer and a cigarette at this point though.

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This girl will leave you in suspense…

I would like to welcome you to Foxy Friday! Foxy Fridays features female artists, tattooed females, or women that are sexy, intriguing, and artistic in their own right. Going on the principle that ink and art is sexy and vastly becoming a societal norm, rather than counter culture. These individuals hold both traditional and non-traditional roles in our culture and they need to be celebrated for their overall beauty. Plus, who doesn’t like seeing hot women on Friday’s?

Today The Gospel brings you my friend Crash:

Photo courtesy of Hellophoto.net

Photo courtesy of Hellophoto.net

JP: Explain a little bit about what a suspension artist does? How did you become involved in this art form?

Crash: A suspension performer can mean something different to allot of people. In general it is someone who uses this as a means of entertainment, and adding their own interpretation of the art. Each has their own idea, or thought process. I just like to be half naked, bloody, and entertaining people! I LOVE IT!  I started doing suspension in 06. I have been around the industry for some time, and had friends that were already involved in the industry. I finally had the desire to experience it, and fell in love! Shortly there after I realized I had found something that I had a real passion for. Before I knew it I was doing shows, and couldn’t get enough!

JP: What kind of reaction do you get when you tell people that you are a suspension artist?

Crash: Depends on who you tell! 😉 Normally, “What in the hell is that? Weird! Why would you do that to your self?”

Photo Courtesy of MichelleK

Photo Courtesy of MichelleK

JP: How does it feel to be an “alt-artist” and exhibit your body in the realm of modeling?

Crash: I just consider my self an artist! Not alt, goth, fetish, or an other sort of classification. Not that it is a bad thing, I just enjoy being able to get my hands in all of it! It’s all about pushing yourself, and growing as an artist. I’m a total voyeur, so modeling is the best place to do it! Right? 🙂

JP: My understanding is that you have been featured on godsgirls.com and several tattoo magazines. What is it like to be a strong, beautiful, tattooed woman and display your art?

Crash: Yes, you can find me all over! Magazines, featured sites, books, magazines, tattoo conventions, and fetish events! Come play! What is it like? It’s like living out all your dirty little fantasies every day!”

Photo courtesy of the dallasobserver.com

Photo courtesy of the dallasobserver.com

JP: How does your art and your daily life coincide? Would anyone know what you did if you did not tell them?

Crash: I have been around the industry for some time, and had friends that were already involved in the industry. I finally had the desire to experience it, and fell in love! Shortly there after I realized I had found something that I had a real passion for. Before I knew it I was doing shows, and couldn’t get enough. And no, I don’t think any one would have any idea of what I do! It isn’t a job where you can look at someone, and say, “hey, she hangs from hooks!”  Most people are surprised by what I do!”

skewerphily

Photo courtesy of Metal Disco Photography

JP: If there are any misconceptions in what you do, what would you clear up?

Crash: People are always open to ask questions and come up with their own interpretation. Generally, people assume I’m associated with drugs in some sort of way, or that I’m wasted when I perform. Actually, it is the exact opposite. I want to be as clear headed as possible! The adrenaline is the high!

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Photo courtesy of Hellophoto.net

JP: If you weren’t modeling and doing suspension, what else would you be doing?

Crash: Be a very sad, sad girl!

Wanna see more of Crash? Check her out at the following venues:

Sept 15-20th Minneapolis, MN for the tattoo convention

Sept. 29th to Oct. 6th The Biggest Tattoo Show in the World at Mandalay Bay  Las Vegas, NV

October 31st Las Vegas Fetish and Fantasy

Jan. 10 Baltimore, MD Tattooed Kingpin

Feb. 10 Philadelphia, PA Tattooed Kingpin

Safe Websites:

http://profile.myspace.com/crashofgg

http://twitter.com/_CRASH_GG

Not Safe For Work Websites:

http://www.modelmayhem.com/604197

http://www.godsgirls.com/girls/Crash

Are you a beautiful woman that may not be considered “typical” housewife material? Do you enjoy the spicer things in life? Then you may be a Fox! If you or someone you know would like to be featured on Foxy Friday, please contact JP, live and direct at justjpblog (at) gmail (dot) com for more details. You can also follow me on Twitter @justjptweet Do it, Doo it.

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