Tag Archives: family

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

1 Year ago…

Check out how it all began: Click Here

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JP goes Viral!

 

 

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The Tracksuit Mafia!

What do you get when 4 assholes dressed alike in tracksuits? That’s right, you get the #tracksuit mafia. An idea months in the making… I would have posted this yesterday, but there were issues.[1] Where do I begin? Well, I guess a good old fashion time line is in order.[2]

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The Tracksuit Mafia...

  • Made a trip to Chocolate bears house and picked up a bottle of Jack, Bushmills, Vodka, 2 Jagers, a Red Bull, and a pimp cup.
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Pimp Cup in Hand... Yes that went everywhere with us.

  • Back to the Honey Comb Hideout for an hour long pre-game.
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Chocolate Bear "thugged out" with Winston

  • Crew shows up and nick-names were picked. I was Micky 4 knuckles.[3]
  • The power hour concludes and we roll to our normal spot where we met up with some friends. Our bar tab was dutifully named “the guido’s” tab.
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Gotta love your "friends"

  • We did not pay for that tab… someone we met there did, cause they thought we were awesome.[4] Also, there were some really weird guys trying to convince Chocolate Bear he needed to fight in the MMA. It was weird.
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Guy that picked up our tab

  • We decided we needed to go to the local strip club, because, well, where else do 4 guys in tracksuits go? On the way there, we were cut off by some drunk asshole that called the big guy a “nigger”. Now, usually there would have been violence in this situation[5] but there was a cop right next to us with some other drunk asshole pulled over. This set the tone for the rest of the night.
  • Hit the strip club hard! They were also having a costume contest, which we were convinced we would win… Not really, especially when strippers entered. Damn. We did get on stage and saunter around though. At is at this point where we decided to use fake accents, not on the strippers, but everyone else around us. When asked about my costume, I used the line “sorry, my English, no, so good”. I had several people yelling the same thing they originally said and I did not laugh, instead I went with, “oh, kusstume? Oh da, kusstume! Me gangsta…Bang..Bang, while making a gun from my fingers. It was classic, because they bought into my bullshit.
  • Rolled out of the strip club and this is where is gets a bit, um, fuzzy.
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These were the shots, but I have no idea where we were...

  • I think we might have stopped off for Jager shots, but I really can’t be certain it was that night. We did end up in a more upscale neighborhood and at this one bar/club where a lot of cougar hunting is done. I decided Jimbo needed to bag himself a couger. Though, every time we go there the bouncer gives us a hard time about the way we are dressed. I am all, “come on bro, tracksuits! You are required by law to let us in.” He did and he shouldn’t have. We walked in and the place was dead. Slammed a single drink and bailed. On the way out I said something to the effect of I hate you or wtf. The doorman just laughed at us. Rightfully so.
  • As we are rolling down the street going to meet up with our friend, a truck in front of us was screwing around and it pissed off Chocolate Bear (CB), so he honked the horn.[6] The guy in front of us got out of the truck and so did CB. Me, J, and Jimbo were still in the back watching, as CB can handle himself…except, 3 other dudes got out and approached. So, the 3 of us in the back got out and we were confronted by an entire family reunion. Seriously, 3 cars were behind us and 2 cars in the 7-11 parking lot, equallying 30 about 30 dudes to the 4 of us. By this point I had conceded that I was going to get punched in the face.[7] It was as if the gangs of New York was remade and everyone was wearing Fubu.
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Imagine this scene, only in Fubu.

  • Somehow, we managed to get out unscathed. There was people yelling 5-0 and it might have helped. Regardless, it was something that I never thought would happen. I am so glad nothing went down, cause that’s the kind of shit that ends up on the news.
  • We finally made it to our friend’s bar. I walked in and ordered a beer, only to be denied, because we got there right at two.
  • Things went fuzzy again and food was involved at some point. It was pretty rough.
  • Woke up to see a buffet from Krystals had been consumed and noticed several bottles of Jager empty along with 100’s of beer bottles. Insane.
  • Watched the Florida Gators kick the shit out of Georgia!
  • Started it all over again. My costume started out as the guy who was too hung over to make a costume, then I switched to being a “transformer.” I start out as a regular guy, then by the end of the night, I am a drunk asshole.
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Jimbo as Ashe

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Ahh, choices...To be good or to be bad.

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When you try to smoke celery, you know you have had too much to drink.

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Doing what he does best

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And I am done...

That is the story of this last weekend. Thank you…


[1] The issue was I was still hung over on Monday and it was vicious.

 

[2] Sorry, I really wanted to try something different, but I am too challenged today.

[3] Think Franky 4 fingers, but more Irish.

[4] Umm, cause we are awesome!

[5] All of us would have gotten out of the car and kicked his ass.

[6] Now, in most situations, the next series of events would have gone way different.

[7] I am pretty, but I can take a punch or two when needed.

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Sometimes the line becomes blurry between rocks and unicorns

And I am back. Wow! Just Wow. What an insane trip. I think the best way to break it down is start from the beginning…

Thursday

3:30pm- Woke up and started getting ready.

6:30pm- Picked up Justagirl and Gingermandy

7:00pm- Dinner with the girls and Chocolate bear, where we discussed and decided on going as Special Olympic Athletes for Halloween this year. Actually, it was a toss up between that and track suits. Any time I can wear a helmet and point to myself while saying “Ima numba one” while trying to order a drink, is tops in my book.

10:00pm- Hit the road for D.C. Girls and Winston slept while I cranked it up and with 2 sugar-free Red Bull and Ritalin1

Friday

9:15am- Walked into my apt in NOVA.2

10:00am- Finally laid down to get a few hours sleep before I had to be in MD for an interview.

10:05am- Received a call stating that my interviewer was sick and I had to get there before 2pm in order to lock this down.

11:00am- Was on the Orange line headed into town.

1:00pm- Walked into the interview and was presented with a Wonderlic Test.

1:12pm- Finished the test and went cross eyed and thought I saw a Care Bear across the street dancing with a band of gypsies.

1:15pm- Interview commenced. Tried to keep my head together as the Care Bear across the street was ripping his own head off. “With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away, everything’s a copy.”3

2:00pm- Back on the bus headed back to NOVA, all the while this thought was ever present; “I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I’d never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. “4

4:00pm- Walked into the Apt and felt like killing anything that moved suddenly.

4:15pm- Finally laid down for a nap. “If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”5

4:45pm- Was back up and at it. “Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction… “6 Yelled at my sister to get me a beer and “get dis bitch crackin”

5:00pm- Picked up What a Grand World from the bus stop, while taking out a curb in the Lincoln. Perfection.

5:15-8pm- I am unclear as to what happen during this time frame, but I know we did something. A little fuzzy. I know wings were involved because I remember the blood bath that was Just a Girl tearing up some wings. Like Woah.

8:10pm- On the train to Recessions. Just a Girl and Gingermandy were beating each other while What a Grand World was taking really creepy pictures of us.

9:00pm- Joined everyone at Recessions and the karaoke began. I do remember N’Sync was preformed by all the girls. That or I have been having some really fucked up dreams.

11:00pm- Headed back on the train, almost had to wreck some drunk asshole. It was a mess.7

12:30pm- After getting lost, we finally made it home.

Saturday

10:00am- Woke up and got the party started.

10:03am- Heard Gingermandy puking in the bathroom something fierce.

10:15-1:30- rehabbed the girls with some food and coffee.

2:00pm- PQ came by with Shine and picked up the girls to go shopping and get ready.

3:00pm- Went to Dogfish Head brew pub for the Florida vs. Arkansas game. May have drank a few beers?

Somewhere around the 3rd quarter of the game- The bartender changed the channel during a critical play. I may have8 politely asked the bartender to change it back9. At this point it was necessary for me to pay my tab and get the hell out, before I was politely asked to leave.10

7:00pm- Got ready for #pbandtuna

8:15pm- got to U street and wandered around all lost and shit. Good thing I ran into What a Grand World or I would have been screwed. There were even APB’s out on Twitter for my where abouts.

8:30pm- Finally made it to Stetson’s and rock out all night with:

12 Minds, A, Alice, anoukange, B, CavyCleveland’s A Plum, Deutlichdmb5_ libra, DMBosstone, Dysfunction Junction, f.Bflippy, Ginger Mandyjenniferalaine, JerzeyGrrlJP, Just A Girl, KassyK, Katertot, Katie RoseLate- Night Drama Queen, Lemmonex, Lusty Reader, M (Only One Way Down), Malnurtured SnayMarie, Maxie, Mr. 5280, Pithy Comments, PQ, Rachel Smiles, Restaurant Refugee, Shine Out Loud, Suburban Sweetheart, thebestmichelle, Urban Bohemian,and last but certainly not least, What A Grand World.

During this time I had a blast. Gifts were giving, booze was drank, and sombrero’s were worn. Insanely good party.

1ish am???- Made my way home.

Sunday

There really was no time line here, cause I was way too hungover to make it back to U street and join everyone for brunch. In fact we went and got a burger and a coffee. Watched movies all day and just relaxed. I was dying of death.

Monday

4:30am- Hit the road for Orlando. Bombed down a Red Bull and chased it with methylphenidate.

12:30pm- Renewed my hatred for the entire state of South Carolina.

4:30pm- Arrived by at the Honey Comb Hideout.

Tuesday

4:30am- Alarm came way too early.

5:30am- Dropped off Just a Girl at the airport.

6:00am- Went to Starbucks and found the 2 employees sitting outside with a gallon sized coffee mugs. I don’t know how they do it.

6:15am- Arrived at the office to find out I didn’t have my key to get in the building. Cursed the Baby Jesus and waited.

6:30am- Finally got in and cranked up some tunes. I am not really sure how people function this early, but I do like the freedom and personal space it allows for.

Anyways, I am totally waxed and have to recover from the helluva weekend that was done, so I leave you with this:

“Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.”11

1Having ADD does have it’s advantages.

2I am a road trip assassin

3Fight Club (1999)

4Fight Club (1999)

5Fight Club (1999)

6Fight Club (1999)

7I was a mess. Totally wiped out.

8Fuck yeah I whistled really loud and said some shit

9Before I broke a foot off in his ass.

10Seriously, you should be shot if you try to change the Florida game. Stupid ass.

11Fight Club (1999)

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Its time to get down with the get down

Hello again. Sorry about getting all heavy with you last time, the struggle is still a foot, but I have a date in which I need to pull the trigger by. Hopefully that will be the catalyst to get my ass on track.

Anyways, I am here to talk about a celebration! A orgy union that will be taking place Downtown DC this Saturday… I will be there!!! Unlike last time. In fact I am rolling in Track Suit Mafia Style with our three hot pants girls. There will be pain and debauchery a plenty.

Well, let me hit rewind on this track for a hot second. The other day I suggested that Track Suits are the way to go for all occasions, yes, I was hungover when this statement was made. However, 12minds and I decided that it would be the best idea ever. Then last night, The above metioned mafia blew up my phone with their discussion about Saturday’s wardrobe. Yes, I am concerned 4 dudes were discussing “wardrobe” but hey, they are cool and I will let it slide. Here is how it started and some suggestions thrown out there were:

Francobeans: “I’m rocking a pleated cape, walking stick and Reebok pumps.”

Dmbosstone: “wait so wifebeater a no-go?”

Malnurtured Snay: “I’m going with jeans, shirt, tie, sweater vest. Oh yeah.”

12minds: “I’ve got a presentation before #pbandtuna so there’s a chance I’ll be bus-casual. Maybe pleated khakis just for @LexaLemmy?”

Francobeans: “Fellas, what if Halloween came early and we went as Color Me Badd?”

JustJpTweet: “So I just noticed that 4 guys @dmbosstone @francobeans @12minds @malnurturedsnay are discussing wardrobe for sat. WTF guys? @dmbosstone @DCPrincessQ Umm WTF? What is going on? Okay, for the record no pleats. I dig the CMB idea that was tossed out there, but still track suits and gold chains are tops in my book. Oh and sweater vests are NOT an option for Sat. Only gay football coaches wear them. I’m looking at you Jim Tressel! See what I mean: http://bit.ly/ZnCjM Trending topic #tracksuitmafia just putting that out there…”

I am rolling into my apt. Friday (god it feels good to go home finally) as I have some business to take care of Friday afternoon.  After this minorly stressful event, I will be out and about town doing it proper. If you are going to be around, you should drop in and say Hi! In fact I hear many people will be in town and I would love to catch up with everyone if I can. So, if you are in the area and want to know about Friday nights dinner plans or Saturdays adventure, shoot me an email at justjpblog [@] gmail (.) com or DM me JustJPTweet.

So hit me up and let me know what you are doing, cause when you roll with the Track Suit Mafia, you never know what may happen….

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Looking up

Thanks for the wonderful support and comments on my most recent psychosis. Truly, my decision is based purely on self betterment. Leave it to me to get all bent out of shape about good things happening. Blow up my house, lose my job, or girlfriend leaving, no sweat. I can deal. Make a choice on how to obtain a goal that has been just within my reach, you might as well tell me my dog died. It’s like what your parents would say to you when you broke something back in the day, “we just can’t have nice things!”

Moral of the story, is things will work themselves out and I just need to let it go. I am very thankful I have people cheering for me and especially thankful to have someone that cares enough to listen to my crazy and not judge. Good lookin’ y’all, good lookin!

For some reason the 3 songs below have been popping up in my IPod rotation quite a bit and eerily explains my life at this point:

Hilltop Hoods “Breathe”

In life, we struggle as individuals,
A fine line between a cliché saying and something original,
As if in death we left something residual,
Behind to mark our time up in this pitiful,
Existence and I’m a man of many issues,
If I ever dissed you, no disrespect I never wished to,
Hold a grudge the stress makes me act like this,
The day I get it off my chest I won’t write tracks like this,
But I’ll be bitter on them when all is done and is forgotten,
Cos it’s easier to sit and complain than fix the problem,
But the power of speech endowers our beliefs,
With sour defeats, man nothing is out of reach,
Got plenty to answer for, all do is answered back,
Done a thousand things I regret, apologize for none of that,
So you get back what you put in no regrets,
And keep on until they know your sweat, you only get.

Chorus
(We get)One chance, so I live for the moment,
I’m just one man what I wouldn’t give for this moment,
We got one world; still we take it in stride,
In this one life we stand still waiting to die,
(We get)One chance, so I live for the moment,
I’m just one man what I wouldn’t give for this moment,
We got one world; still we take it in stride,
In this one life we stand still waiting to die.
Now breathe in…

Now if life is what you make it it’s time to build,
Man I’m for real aint no telling what this life will yield,
I’m a career man, cos I career off any path,
That would lead me to a start of financial gains I’m scarred,
We learn from our mistakes, that makes me a scholar on,
Being a walking talking fuck up and a better man for being wrong,
I’m humble and loyal, my friendships are honored,
A mans success aint measured by the depths of his pocket,
I give good advice but never follow it, what’s left for me?
I’m a hypocrite and if I weren’t I’d be a success story,
View this wide world through a narrow gaze, these harrowed days,
Seen to many men end in a shallow grave,
I guess it’s better to have loved and to lost, than never stumbled across,
The gift of knowing you what ever the fucking cost,
To put it in perspective and under my vision,
This world is superficial; I’m done with others opinions.

Gnarles Barkley “Who Cares”

Basically I’m complicated
I have a hard time taking the easy way
I wouldn’t call it schizophrenia
But I’ll be at least 2 people today

If that’s okay

And I can go on and on and on… but who cares?

It’s deep how you can be so shallow
And I’m afraid cause I have no fear
And I didn’t believe in magic
Until I watched you disappear

I wish you where here

And I can go on and on and on… but who cares?

You see, everybody is somebody
But nobody wants to be themselves
and If I ever wanted to understand me
I’ll have to talk to someone else

Cause every little bit helps

And I can go on and on and on… but who cares?

Feels like… the surreal life
But it’s still nice
Wish I could live twice
but I still might
if these bones heal right
I see a little light
though it’s still night

Feels like… surreal like
But its still nice
Wish I could live twice
but I still might
if these bones heal right
I see a little light
though it’s still night

Kruder and Dorfmeister “Bug Powder Dust”

I always hit the tape with the rough road styles
You heard the psychdelic and ya came from miles
Keep my rhymes thick like a Guinness brew
So you could call me black and tan when I’m a wreckin’ a crew
I’m like Bill Lee writing when he’s in Tangiers
And now I’m on a soul safari with my Beatnik peers
Analog reel and a little distortion
Smokin’ on somethin’ s’you could say I’m scorchin’
I never been the type to brag but beware
I’ll make a man burn his draft card like it was hair
Send ya up the river like you lookin’ for Kurtz
I got the mugwhump jism up in every verse

I always hit the apple when I’m going to shoot
So you can call me William Tell or Agent Cooper to boot
Mr. Mojo Risin’ on the case again
So tell your mother and your sister and your sister’s friends
Like an exterminator running low on dust
I’m bug powder itchin’ and I can’t be trust
Interzone trippin’ and I’m off to Annexia
I gotta get a typewriter that’s sexier
My name is Justin and that’s all that’s it
And I’ll be spittin’ rhymes wicked like it ain’t for this shit
Houses of the Holy like Jimmy Page
But the song remains the same so I’m stuck in a rage
Just like Jane when she’s going to Spain
I think I’m going away tomorrow, just a fool in the rain
Light up the candles and bless the room
I’m paranoid, snow blind, just a black meat fool

Never been a fake and I’m never phony
I got more flavour than a packet of macaroni
Rock drippin’ from my every vowel
I’ve got the soul of the sixties like Ginsberg’s Howl
Shootin’ mad ball and I’m always jukin’
Take you to the hole and I’m surely hoopin’
Top of the pops like the Lulu’s show
I’ll take a walk on Abbey Road with my shoes of soul
I got a splinter though, damn, you know man it hurt
I got a Vegemite sandwich from Men at Work
I keep minds in line, but time sublimes,
So when you search you find something like a gold mine
A psychadelic meanderings in the poem
I got a patter, patter anyplace that I roam
Waiting for the sun on a Spanish caravan
Solar eclipse and I’m feeling like starin’ man

Who’s that man in the windowpane
Got somethin’ on his tongue and it’s startin’ to stain
Sho’ nuff equip so wop n’get down
Step up on my ladder and you’ll get beat down
Hash bar style so I’m singin’ day glow
Wakin’ up the dead like Serpent and the Rainbow
Jeff Spicoli roll me another hay
The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh with Dr. J
Shockin’ your ass like a faulty vibrator
Hear me now, but you’ll probably get the vibe later
Who knows where the wicked wind blows
Que sera sera just leave it alone
Great space coaster toast up the town ?????
Makin’ midgets with my man Dr. Shrinker
Pass the hookah, throw down the pillows
Cloth on the ceiling, blow rings that billow
Kick off the shoes and relax your feet
Now roll up your sleeves for this lyrical treat

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