Tag Archives: ink

And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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17 Comments

Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

The Tracksuit Mafia!

What do you get when 4 assholes dressed alike in tracksuits? That’s right, you get the #tracksuit mafia. An idea months in the making… I would have posted this yesterday, but there were issues.[1] Where do I begin? Well, I guess a good old fashion time line is in order.[2]

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The Tracksuit Mafia...

  • Made a trip to Chocolate bears house and picked up a bottle of Jack, Bushmills, Vodka, 2 Jagers, a Red Bull, and a pimp cup.
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Pimp Cup in Hand... Yes that went everywhere with us.

  • Back to the Honey Comb Hideout for an hour long pre-game.
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Chocolate Bear "thugged out" with Winston

  • Crew shows up and nick-names were picked. I was Micky 4 knuckles.[3]
  • The power hour concludes and we roll to our normal spot where we met up with some friends. Our bar tab was dutifully named “the guido’s” tab.
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Gotta love your "friends"

  • We did not pay for that tab… someone we met there did, cause they thought we were awesome.[4] Also, there were some really weird guys trying to convince Chocolate Bear he needed to fight in the MMA. It was weird.
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Guy that picked up our tab

  • We decided we needed to go to the local strip club, because, well, where else do 4 guys in tracksuits go? On the way there, we were cut off by some drunk asshole that called the big guy a “nigger”. Now, usually there would have been violence in this situation[5] but there was a cop right next to us with some other drunk asshole pulled over. This set the tone for the rest of the night.
  • Hit the strip club hard! They were also having a costume contest, which we were convinced we would win… Not really, especially when strippers entered. Damn. We did get on stage and saunter around though. At is at this point where we decided to use fake accents, not on the strippers, but everyone else around us. When asked about my costume, I used the line “sorry, my English, no, so good”. I had several people yelling the same thing they originally said and I did not laugh, instead I went with, “oh, kusstume? Oh da, kusstume! Me gangsta…Bang..Bang, while making a gun from my fingers. It was classic, because they bought into my bullshit.
  • Rolled out of the strip club and this is where is gets a bit, um, fuzzy.
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These were the shots, but I have no idea where we were...

  • I think we might have stopped off for Jager shots, but I really can’t be certain it was that night. We did end up in a more upscale neighborhood and at this one bar/club where a lot of cougar hunting is done. I decided Jimbo needed to bag himself a couger. Though, every time we go there the bouncer gives us a hard time about the way we are dressed. I am all, “come on bro, tracksuits! You are required by law to let us in.” He did and he shouldn’t have. We walked in and the place was dead. Slammed a single drink and bailed. On the way out I said something to the effect of I hate you or wtf. The doorman just laughed at us. Rightfully so.
  • As we are rolling down the street going to meet up with our friend, a truck in front of us was screwing around and it pissed off Chocolate Bear (CB), so he honked the horn.[6] The guy in front of us got out of the truck and so did CB. Me, J, and Jimbo were still in the back watching, as CB can handle himself…except, 3 other dudes got out and approached. So, the 3 of us in the back got out and we were confronted by an entire family reunion. Seriously, 3 cars were behind us and 2 cars in the 7-11 parking lot, equallying 30 about 30 dudes to the 4 of us. By this point I had conceded that I was going to get punched in the face.[7] It was as if the gangs of New York was remade and everyone was wearing Fubu.
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Imagine this scene, only in Fubu.

  • Somehow, we managed to get out unscathed. There was people yelling 5-0 and it might have helped. Regardless, it was something that I never thought would happen. I am so glad nothing went down, cause that’s the kind of shit that ends up on the news.
  • We finally made it to our friend’s bar. I walked in and ordered a beer, only to be denied, because we got there right at two.
  • Things went fuzzy again and food was involved at some point. It was pretty rough.
  • Woke up to see a buffet from Krystals had been consumed and noticed several bottles of Jager empty along with 100’s of beer bottles. Insane.
  • Watched the Florida Gators kick the shit out of Georgia!
  • Started it all over again. My costume started out as the guy who was too hung over to make a costume, then I switched to being a “transformer.” I start out as a regular guy, then by the end of the night, I am a drunk asshole.
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Jimbo as Ashe

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Ahh, choices...To be good or to be bad.

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When you try to smoke celery, you know you have had too much to drink.

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Doing what he does best

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And I am done...

That is the story of this last weekend. Thank you…


[1] The issue was I was still hung over on Monday and it was vicious.

 

[2] Sorry, I really wanted to try something different, but I am too challenged today.

[3] Think Franky 4 fingers, but more Irish.

[4] Umm, cause we are awesome!

[5] All of us would have gotten out of the car and kicked his ass.

[6] Now, in most situations, the next series of events would have gone way different.

[7] I am pretty, but I can take a punch or two when needed.

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Filed under Friends

Foxy Fridays…With A Twist

Hey hey y’all, this is Just A Girl up in the hizzy! Oh dear god I’m white. When JP told me he needed guest bloggers while he’s out of town, I immediately called Friday. Why? Because I knew it was the perfect opportunity to take over the Gospel and do something for us girls. Instead of the normal (sexy) ladies showing off their art, I’m flipping it around and showing you some fellas with kickass tats.

OHH JP YOU CAN’T STOP ME NOW!

Ahem. Anyway, since I AM molesting his blog, I thought I’d better start with our host. I got a chance to check out his work in person, and pictures don’t do it justice. It’s gorgeous. Unfortunately the pic he sent of his leg came through super tiny (sad face!)  but the boy is covered so it’s not like there was a shortage.

This might be my favorite because LOOK AT THE PUPPY! Oh, and nice tat too.

This might be my favorite because LOOK AT THE PUPPY! Oh, and nice tat too.

The surfing skeletons. This explains JP's taste in (body & wall) art right here.

The surfing skeletons. This explains JP's taste in (body & wall) art right here. It also explains why we could never share a house.

Who's a pretty pretty princess?? Oh, and the girl's nice too. :)

Who's a pretty pretty princess?? Oh, and the girl's nice too. 🙂

All of my tattoos are plain old black, so I won’t lie, I’m totally jealous. Purty.

Now this next guy is my favorite and shut your faces if you don’t like dirty white boys. Courtni knows how I roll. Chris Andersen, call me?

This picture makes me drool, but his tattoos in this one sort of make me cringe. Thankfully he's invested in some MUCH better work.

This picture makes me drool, but his tattoos in this one sort of make me cringe. Thankfully he's invested in some MUCH better work.

The wings make me want to take off my pants and die. Also, duh, go Nuggets!

The wings make me want to take off my pants and die. Also, duh, go Nuggets! Not that I'm biased or anything.

For those of you who like a prettier white boy, here’s some David Beckham. (I tried to pretend like I wasn’t into him but I’m totally lying.)

Oh hi David Beckham. What's that? You're gorgeous? Yeah, we know...

Oh hi David Beckham. What's that? You're gorgeous? Yeah, we know...

Make out with your face? Well, if you insist...

Make out with your face? Well, if you insist...

My only problem is that his tattoos? Kiiinda boring. So no more pictures. Google that shit on your own time. This next one is for Maxie, even though I almost threw up a little. Don’t get me wrong, A Milli is my jam (do the kids still say that?) but…

I love Lil Weezy but his face? Jesus.

I love Lil Weezy but his face? Jesus.

So I totally wanted to put more pics on here, but, true story, all of a sudden my google image results were all full of penises. Tattooed penises, yes, but still limp, random junk and it was scary and I said “bluhhh” and shivered and closed google because for serious? The penis is not purty ESPECIALLY LIMP AND COVERED WITH A BETTY BOOP TATTOO. While I go scrub my eyeballs, tell me who I should have included or why Chris Andersen is awesome.

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Filed under Foxy Friday, Tattoos

Can I get an amen from the back section?

That’s what she said!

I am feeling a bit refreshed and sort of back on wire. While off and about I found out a few things about myself, lets call it awareness. I go through phases where I feel the need to do something drastic. I wanted to destroy my blog and twitter, just to say I was almost there. Then I got angry letters where my balls may have been put in harms way if I did. Instead, I blanked out a myspace account that was causing me to doubt myself as an American, yes as an American.

Well back to my point. I had an eventful week or so. I discovered some things that opened my eyes to my new life direction. Nothing like an ephifany, but just a good mellow realization that I may be evolving. Anyways, here is what I was up to:

  • Went out with the girl and had a nice dinner and a hung out. Found out she likes PBR, crazy British gangster movies, speaks fluent Spanish, and comes from a similar low-income mid-west background. It is really nice to have a distraction like her. She will only be here another 3 weeks or so and hopefully, so will I. To be honest, if she was a long termer, I would be in trouble. In fact she came with me to the local watering hole and she was totally mellow. The parting moments are always my favorite. Bonus.
  • Found out someone I am interested has a small crush on me. I still don’t believe it, but I like it. It is always nice to know someone is interested in you and not for something you “are” or “have”.
  • I was visited by the ink fairy2009-07-17 22.12.58
  • Let me just tell you, sitting for hours on end having your friend drill on you is not the best idea. I did discover that if you put a bendy straw in a tall boy of PBR, you can lay down and drink comfortably.
  • I hosted a B-B-Q and about 12 friends show up. We totally threw down! My mom and a few of her friends dropped in. It was classic, my buddy Jimbo was wearing a “I like Whores” shirt and was hitting on my mom’s friend. food was good, beer was cold, and we had a good time.
  • I told my boss I have one foot out the door and the other on a banana peel. Still waiting for that call!
  • Made plans with the girl for this week.
  • Realized I may be ready to find someone to cool my heels with. To be honest I am lonely. Let me rephrase, I miss having a partner in crime that is a support and inspiration. I may be on the look out for this person now.
  • Returned to work just in time for the busy season once again. I cannot wait to get out of there.

So, as you can see nothing too exciting. But I have to say, I do not like writing unless I am inspired. This inspiration comes from music. In fact when I sit down to write, a song typically flows through my mind. For some reason the music has stopped. Maybe a spark or an adventure is needed to get the flow going again.

Anyways, as always, thanks for reading. Hopefully the music will return soon and the inspiration will move me once again.

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Filed under Life

Like all my relationships

I am on again, off again with this site. It is my outlet, but at the same time I want to destroy it and move on. I am sure I will get over this soon, but for the time being I am taking a break.It seems that when my work and home life get busy I expend all my energy there and none is left for the Gospel.

I should be checking back next week and will regale you stories about my past few dates and the evolution of all things JP. So, keep an eye out on your readers, I will be popping back up soon. btw: I am really backed up on my own reader, but I am still lurking on my fellow blogger’s sites. So, check them out, there are good things going on.

JP

7 Comments

Filed under Life

The Gospel’s 100th Anniversary

Welcome to TMI Thursdays! As LiLu always says: Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

Today is my 100th post here at the Gospel and just like when it started, I still have no clue what I am doing with it. I feel my writing is sub-par, yet I keep attracting readers. Upon reflection of 100 various posts I still don’t have a cohesive thesis or outline for this blog. What I realized is there probably never will be. I will never have a great theme blog and I am fine with this.

So how does one celebrate the 100th? By refelcting on the author’s top 3 posts or the 3 that sucked the least. Anyways, if you are new or have been down with deathrow from day one, thank you coming coming by. I do have to say it is quite fortuitous that this 100th lands on TMI Thursday. So without further delay:

Best (or grossest) TMI Thursday post: If you have a weak stomach, don’t press forward…

The post I feel I was most on my game: Let me peak at your soul…

And last but not least the post that kicked this blog off: So, this is JP…

Again, thanks for dropping in and I hope you celebrate this upcoming 4th of July weekend and your country, by blowing up a small piece of it.

JP

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Filed under TMI Thursday

Chill weekend

Beside from the girl at Starbucks that could not process my order (medium bold coffee), I am coming off a great weekend that was very low key. Here are a few happenings that made it rock:

  • My weekend kicked off Friday, when I received several text messages from various bloggers around the country. These lovely Ladies sent photo of their lovely ladies…. I clearly made out like a bandit! BTW, to those who sent me boob shots*, you are awesome!**
  • Watched Taken with Liam Neeson. Bad. Ass. Flick!
  • Went out with my buddy Jimmy Jamz. Ran into a girl whose friend I may or may not have hooked up with. This girl (bigger than me) comes up to me and is all, “I let you hook up with my friend, you could at least buy me a beer.” Me: Umm, fine if that s what it will take for you to leave me alone, I will get you a beer.” Me to the bartender, “give her one of those dollar PBR’s to shut her up.” Later, same girl comes up to me and says, “Why didn’t you try to fuck me? Well, it doesn’t matter I am not like that anyways.” Me: “Ahh ummm, wha? Yea, I am just a whore.” Later same girl, traps me by the bathroom and tries pulling me into the girls bathroom. It was like wrestling a rhino! Seriously, I was struggling to save myself from this broad. I then decided it was time to break north with no delay.
  • BWP emailed me some porn, chock full of hot tattooed chicks. I love that girl!
  • I received this message on Sunday from Jimmy Jamz: “I didn’t think I had that much to drink, but there are some gaps in my memory and I woke up with the worst hangover ever. I remember being ticked off that Asian broad didn’t pay me any attention and that ex-girlfriend was talking shit about me, then I’m waking up the next morning.” I thought we were pretty mellow about things…. Guess not. Ha!
  • Talk with my friends Down Under and caught up with them while I was getting 3 am fish tacos from Del Taco. Damn those are so good.
  • Saturday my alarm failed me. Woke up at 12:30. It was glorious.
  • Watched the movie Notorious and texted how that slinging crack looked like an awesome job, until he got arrested. She was confused by my statement.
  • Went shopping and spent $75 at the grocery store. Shitty part was no food was purchased. I did have an in-depth conversation with my cousin who is getting married. It was good catching up with him.
  • Get a call from my Sister who went to the NOVA Beerfest. Rubbed it in that I was not there and told me how they had a great time. Sis, if you are reading this, you suck. I love you. Oh, she did say she got new pin-up posters for the apt. Surf art and women is our motif. Awesome.
  • Racked up many hours on Medal of Honor World at War for the ol’ XBOX. No better way to waste time in my opinion.
  • Laid low Sunday and did some shopping. Prepared sone veg for a pot roast in the next few days, which I will be posting the recipe for.
  • It is casual week at work and I have Friday off. So far, things are looking up.

*Please feel free to send any and all boob shots to justjpblog (dot) gmail (dot) com.

**The blogger’s names will be withheld from public record.

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Filed under Weekend Re-cap