Tag Archives: Frustration

Rudie don’t Fear

 

4 years ago I decided that I was going to go full force and lock down what I have always wanted to do; get paid to travel and mix it up with the locals. 1 year ago I chose to leave pack up and blow outta town. Thats what I did. I left family, friends, good dive bars, and women behind in the dust. I did this with one goal in mind: Take over as much of DC as possible and hustle like a triple beam ni$$a!.

I arrived during #snowpacalypse after leaving everything and draining my entire savings. No job, no real prospects, and no money. But. But, somehow it all worked out. It always does. Somehow or someway I always pull the wildest shit out at the last minute. However, even though I make it work, I wake up everyday waiting for my world to come crashing down. It is the juxtaposition that is my life. Success v. Darkness. Though, this has always been par for the proverbial course. Think of it this way, I have an awesome job that I fell ass-backwards into, then in 3 months, got a wicked promotion. I earned straight A’s in 3 grad classes while working 40 hours a week and looking for a new place to live. I hustle and just don’t know any better.

JP, why are you tweakin or rambling on about? Simple, I am taking a test (no, not the one that will end me up on Maury) that will allow me to proceed with my “dream” plans. The test that 9 out of 10 people fail their first time. I know this, my friends that have taken before me have laid out what a whore it is…twss. So why am I worked up? I have no idea, but I can pin-point what beer on saturday night that spun my head around about it. I don’t know, I am just freaking out. I want to pass it and get moving with shit. I am freaking out because this is why I moved, this is why I am taking 2 masters and 2 Ph.D. level courses, all the while working 40 hours and making my appearance in a shady neighborhood in the middle of the night. This is why I call DC my home.

The reason I am tweakin, basically, I feel unprepared. I feel that my luck has to be running out. I feel that I have wanted this for so long, that I do not want to be disappointed… or heart broken. I feel that in the past few months I have really been putting myself out there and have not been my usual guarded disgruntled self. I feel I have evolved into someone that I don’t recognize, but respect and could get to like. This test has really put a revolver to my heart and spun the magazine.Dramatic, yes. It is what it is and I am who I am.

So, if you see me out in DC tomorrow night and chances are that you will, just nod your head and act like none of this happen. Hit me with some daps, but keep your lips silent. Always feel free to do a shot.

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And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.
For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

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Filed under Booze, Foxy Friday, Friends, Life, Non-Sense

Ramble on

The other day I came upon an issue. Now, there have been many things going on in my unemployed life, such as dealing with the insurance company about my car, going out on a few dates, about to start classes, how fucking cold I have been, and working at a bar on the weekends. Those are all seemingly good issues to ramble about, but they are not what I want to discuss today.

The issue I bring forth today is the shaving mishap I had the other night. Now, I know some of my female readers will not understand my plight, then again they may. So, I got the idea of “I want to shave the mustache portion of my goatee” on a whim. This is not uncommon for me to get a wild idea and act on it. It is what makes me, me. Anyways, I put it on twitter that I had this idea and received solid feedback about my possible endeavor.

With the positive feedback fueling my idea, I went into the bathroom and broke out the clippers. Knocked down the mustache and trimmed the sides a bit. However, while shaping the goatee, I went in too far on one side and had to even it up. Well, that didn’t go too well and I had to take the entire thing off.

So, what should have looked like this:

Ended up looking like this:

It is amazing how one slip of the clippers will change the whole look of your face.

What is the problem with this whole mishap? It is fucking cold in DC and now may face is being wind burned by the cold ass wind! Couple that with my inability to fully grow out a beard. Wait, no. Scratch that. I should say my impatience for growing a beard. It should be said at this point that I am envious of guys that can rock out a full beard. Take Zac Brown, lead singer of the Zac Brown band. This guy has a wicked mountain man-esque beard. I mean look at this guy:

Now that is an awesome beard. So, with this all said, I am going to attempt to achieve the Zac Brown style beard. I realize this will take some time and some patience, but I am going to go for it. Call it my delayed new years resolution.

Anyways, this leads me to the second portion of my ramble. If you have not heard the Zac Brown Band before, check them out. Their new album is pretty band good for a bunch of good ol’ boys from Georgia. With that said here is one of their videos…. Enjoy!

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Filed under Non-Sense

1 Year ago…

Check out how it all began: Click Here

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The New Cool Way to Date…#fail

With my newly found sense of adventure[1], I feel it would be a good time to branch out in other aspects in my life, particularly in the dating department. Over the past year I have met and dated several amazing women, women that given the right circumstances would have worked out brilliantly. Sadly, it was just not meant to be. School, distance, religion and various other factors have left these amazing and beautiful people just out of my reach.

I could be sad, upset, disillusioned and my usual curmudgeon self about this matter, but I am not. In fact I have a completely different take on the issue. I feel that by meeting and dating these women, I have slowly learned more of what I am looking for in life. They have shown me that I am doing something right with my life and they are the kind of people I want to surround my self with. Though, this newly found enlightenment does not change one simple fact… I am single.

My current situation may be familiar to you, the reader. New phase in life and coming to terms with what is important to one’s self. With all the stresses coming on, it would be nice to have a good distraction or two. In this assessment though, I need to figure out a few things in regards to the approach. I have never tried Internet dating and my only experience in the dating “scene” has been the traditional meet and greet or the out and about pick up. Both have worked very well for me in the past; however, being in a new city with such a diverse population, I feel I should give the Internet a fair shake.

Lets examine a few key sites and my understanding of how they work:

 

OKCupid: I guess it’s a free dating site? PQ tells me, “They work on a ‘matching’ system based on the answers you give to the questions. The more question’s you answer, the more they can ‘figure out’ your matches. But just fill out your profile and go looking for matches. It’s better if you go look at matches/girls you could be interested in vs. them coming to you.”

Plenty of Fish: This is a free dating site that resembles the traditional “bar” model of dating. You have a profile and a small “about me” section. Basically, you are trolling pictures for what you think is your best suited match.

Match: This is a paid site that works similarly to Plenty of Fish. My understanding is that it is a more upscale version of the dating pool; kind of like paying to get into the VIP section of a club.

Eharmony: From what my roommate has told me[2] it is a Christian based paid dating site. They have you fill out an enormously long survey about yourself and likes/dislikes. Then, they match you based on the standard deviation in their “dating equation.” It seems that this is a very serious site for people looking to “find the one.”

Now, I guess once I select a site or several, depending on how I feel, I create a profile that would best describe me. This is where the fine line of truth and bullshit get blurry. When I talk, the subtle nuances of my nature come out; however, with my writing, some times my sarcasm comes across cynical. I will need to work on this.

Then, there is the “I found someone and need to interact” portion of this event.[3] I would then have to send the girl a message with some clever headline or something that does not scream douche bag. Then, make some one-way casual conversation with them and hope they respond. If all goes well, the lines of communication slowly elevate until the meeting point.

At the meeting point is where I am fine. In social situations I thrive and love interaction. I am just not sure how this whole “game” works. What are the rules? How do I make my profile say what I want to express, without being a total narcissistic head case that I usually am? What is the best way to start the conversation without being a complete asshat?

For these these answers, I turn to you, my readers. Please, enlighten me, as I am new to this game…

 


[1] See I quit my job and moving ASAP

 

[2] She’s tried it

 

[3] I think of this as a Miss America Pageant. No, Miss Venezuela, cause that’s just one of the greatest things ever. God bless Telemundo!

 

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Musings of a Mad Man

Imagine if Hunter S. Thompson did win the election to be Sheriff, or Cobra Commander’s world domination plot succeeded and he overthrew G.I. Joe. What if Sleeping Beauty never got her kiss?

 

Why does the American ideal of “good” have to dominate our society so much? Why can’t Connor & Murphy McManus rid Boston of all the evil doer’s in their prescribed manner and not be shunned for their actions? Why is marijuana the scourge of American drug policy?

 

Think about it…

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Slightly Annoyed

***WARNING THIS IS VERY CYNICAL***

As I was driving to work today I got an email from the company I interviewed with last week. The one where I didn’t get any sleep and they changed the interview time; basically I was set up for failure because they didn’t have their shit together. They informed me that they will be going with another candidate. Essentially, I changed my vacation plans to be jerked around and wasted money and precious time. Hey1 thanks, I appreciate that, no really, thanks. Although, I did at least get the opportunity to go for it.

Moreover, there are other things in my life and people for that matter, that I really thought were different. I have known them for a while, yet I feel like I have been used. See being the nice guy some times2 will come back and blow up in your face. People often mistake kindness for weakness and will walk all over you. My roommate often tells me, “just put yourself out there and be nice to people. Let them know the real you.” The truth is I do put myself out there and I get burned a lot, but I continue to do it because each time I learn something new. People never surprise me and I am always cautiously paranoid, but have learned to keep quit and just ride out the storm.

With everything that has recently happened I feel I need to stop having faith in others.3 Time to go back to the old ways of JP. One, where I am the only one I can rely on and have blind faith in. A JP that takes big risks, but only for himself. I am tired, beaten down, but not broken. I have a goal in sight and I refuse to let things stand in my way. If people’s feelings get hurt along the way, consider this my formal apology, as there will be none given past this point.

Lesson learned on all fronts in my life.

Father,
you know where I have been and
you know what I have done
they say that you see everything
so you know I never hurt no one
What I have stolen won’t be missed
By those who had so much, so long
We’ll soon be laughing about this
They will never notice it is gone
I could bend the universe
It I can only get there first
There are some foolish fresh laid plans
My fate is firmly in your hands4

1Insert company name

2I really try to deny my asshole nature and go out of my way

3And being such a trusting sucker

4Devotchka “Undone”

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