And I am back. Wow! Just Wow. What an insane trip. I think the best way to break it down is start from the beginning…
3:30pm- Woke up and started getting ready.
7:00pm- Dinner with the girls and Chocolate bear, where we discussed and decided on going as Special Olympic Athletes for Halloween this year. Actually, it was a toss up between that and track suits. Any time I can wear a helmet and point to myself while saying “Ima numba one” while trying to order a drink, is tops in my book.
10:00pm- Hit the road for D.C. Girls and Winston slept while I cranked it up and with 2 sugar-free Red Bull and Ritalin1
9:15am- Walked into my apt in NOVA.2
10:00am- Finally laid down to get a few hours sleep before I had to be in MD for an interview.
10:05am- Received a call stating that my interviewer was sick and I had to get there before 2pm in order to lock this down.
11:00am- Was on the Orange line headed into town.
1:00pm- Walked into the interview and was presented with a Wonderlic Test.
1:12pm- Finished the test and went cross eyed and thought I saw a Care Bear across the street dancing with a band of gypsies.
1:15pm- Interview commenced. Tried to keep my head together as the Care Bear across the street was ripping his own head off. “With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away, everything’s a copy.”3
2:00pm- Back on the bus headed back to NOVA, all the while this thought was ever present; “I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn’t screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I’d never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. “4
4:00pm- Walked into the Apt and felt like killing anything that moved suddenly.
4:15pm- Finally laid down for a nap. “If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”5
4:45pm- Was back up and at it. “Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction… “6 Yelled at my sister to get me a beer and “get dis bitch crackin”
5:00pm- Picked up What a Grand World from the bus stop, while taking out a curb in the Lincoln. Perfection.
5:15-8pm- I am unclear as to what happen during this time frame, but I know we did something. A little fuzzy. I know wings were involved because I remember the blood bath that was Just a Girl tearing up some wings. Like Woah.
9:00pm- Joined everyone at Recessions and the karaoke began. I do remember N’Sync was preformed by all the girls. That or I have been having some really fucked up dreams.
11:00pm- Headed back on the train, almost had to wreck some drunk asshole. It was a mess.7
12:30pm- After getting lost, we finally made it home.
10:00am- Woke up and got the party started.
10:03am- Heard Gingermandy puking in the bathroom something fierce.
10:15-1:30- rehabbed the girls with some food and coffee.
3:00pm- Went to Dogfish Head brew pub for the Florida vs. Arkansas game. May have drank a few beers?
Somewhere around the 3rd quarter of the game- The bartender changed the channel during a critical play. I may have8 politely asked the bartender to change it back9. At this point it was necessary for me to pay my tab and get the hell out, before I was politely asked to leave.10
7:00pm- Got ready for #pbandtuna
8:15pm- got to U street and wandered around all lost and shit. Good thing I ran into What a Grand World or I would have been screwed. There were even APB’s out on Twitter for my where abouts.
8:30pm- Finally made it to Stetson’s and rock out all night with:
12 Minds, A, Alice, anoukange, B, Cavy, Cleveland’s A Plum, Deutlich, dmb5_ libra, DMBosstone, Dysfunction Junction, f.B, flippy, Ginger Mandy, jenniferalaine, JerzeyGrrl, JP, Just A Girl, KassyK, Katertot, Katie Rose, Late- Night Drama Queen, Lemmonex, Lusty Reader, M (Only One Way Down), Malnurtured Snay, Marie, Maxie, Mr. 5280, Pithy Comments, PQ, Rachel Smiles, Restaurant Refugee, Shine Out Loud, Suburban Sweetheart, thebestmichelle, Urban Bohemian,and last but certainly not least, What A Grand World.
During this time I had a blast. Gifts were giving, booze was drank, and sombrero’s were worn. Insanely good party.
1ish am???- Made my way home.
There really was no time line here, cause I was way too hungover to make it back to U street and join everyone for brunch. In fact we went and got a burger and a coffee. Watched movies all day and just relaxed. I was dying of death.
4:30am- Hit the road for Orlando. Bombed down a Red Bull and chased it with methylphenidate.
12:30pm- Renewed my hatred for the entire state of South Carolina.
4:30pm- Arrived by at the Honey Comb Hideout.
4:30am- Alarm came way too early.
5:30am- Dropped off Just a Girl at the airport.
6:00am- Went to Starbucks and found the 2 employees sitting outside with a gallon sized coffee mugs. I don’t know how they do it.
6:15am- Arrived at the office to find out I didn’t have my key to get in the building. Cursed the Baby Jesus and waited.
6:30am- Finally got in and cranked up some tunes. I am not really sure how people function this early, but I do like the freedom and personal space it allows for.
Anyways, I am totally waxed and have to recover from the helluva weekend that was done, so I leave you with this:
“Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.”11
1Having ADD does have it’s advantages.
2I am a road trip assassin
3Fight Club (1999)
4Fight Club (1999)
5Fight Club (1999)
6Fight Club (1999)
7I was a mess. Totally wiped out.
8Fuck yeah I whistled really loud and said some shit
9Before I broke a foot off in his ass.
10Seriously, you should be shot if you try to change the Florida game. Stupid ass.
11Fight Club (1999)