Category Archives: Travel

Annnnnd I am back!

I finally returned from Denver and the islands. A special thanks goes out to justagirl for her hospitality and showing me around town. I really had a great time and look forward to hanging with her and gingermandy on the way to the #pbandtuna wedding event of the century. Two important notes: my welcome back from sobriety beer was Kona’s Wailua Wheat Ale and the best fried chicken I have ever, ever, had in my life was from White Fence Farm; their chicken, corn fritters, and black bean salad combined with the beer, would be my death row meal. Write that down.

Beer Fest was epic! Once you make it past the mile long line that weaves through town, you come to beer zion. To quote Matt, “its like heaven!” We hit what seemed like 100 booths during our 4 hour power session. A few that stand out are:

21st Amendment Brewing (watermelon)

Sam Adams (Utopia)

Alaskan Brewing Company (smoked Porter and White)

Odell’s (Bourbon Barrel Stout, 5 Barrel Pale ale, St. Lupulin Extra Pale Ale)

Oskar Blues Brewing (Old Chub)

Kona Brewing Company (Pipe Line Porter and Wailua Wheat Ale)

Great Divide (Saison)

Some home brewers that were coming out with some phenominal brews. I had one chili infused beer that just blew me away, it was spicy and refreshing.

Then, I blasted down to the islands for work. I have to say, every time I go down there, I never get a chance to do too much. I did catch up with some friends, but pretty much just bounced between being seriously bored and then working my ass off. It did give me time to think about a lot though. Not sure how I am going to take that just yet, lot of life questions to be answered.

I also want to give a huge thanks to my guest posters that took care of things for me while I was gone: Gingermandy, DCPrincess, DMBosstone, and Justagirl.



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Peace to the East!

What up Beeetches!

I was going to write about an idea1 I had about creating an urban drug Olympics, where you would take users of things such as meth, crack, pcp, and smack, and pit them against each other in competition. Think Cops2, just more creative and an awards ceremony at the end; nothing amazes me more than a tweaker running from the cops.

Although the Junkie Olympics3 will not fully be discussed here today, something more important will be.

NA, NA, NAH, NA, NA I am going to Beer Fest!

Yes, my name is JP and I am five. If you have been reading for a while you may know I have been brewing my own beer for about 7-8 years and I keep getting better with ages.4 I have always heard about the Great American Beer Fest in Colorado, and have always wanted to go. I realize they charge too much and the cup they give you is pretty small, but you are also talking to the guy who drank Kona Brewing Company’s Pipeline Porter dry at the NOVA Brew Fest and got totally hammered with brass in the State Department; I love my friends.

Its not about the price or the size of your glass5 it is the Fest itself. To wander the isles checking out new and upcoming breweries or the old guard. The entire festival is broken into regions, so of course I have my plan of attack all mapped out. I am going to destroy the Pacific and Rocky Mountain sections, as we in the East, rarely get the chance to check them out. Don’t get me wrong, the East has many of my favorites, but the West is like the rare tuna you can only get at the pricey sushi joint you have always wanted to go to.

Anyways, my point is I am really excited about trying new things and having a well deserved good time. Next week I have some pretty awesome guests stopping by to season your melon with goodness. So, at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow, I will be taking off to end my 35 days of sobriety and hopefully starting a new or at least different chapter in the Gospel of JP.

1Like all good ideas this one came to me while dropping a deuce the other day.

2I know you have watched. We all have watched at some point in our life.

3Its mine. You can borrow, but don’t steal.

4Can someone remind me to bottle the Saison I have fermenting in DC while I am there please?

5You totally were expecting me to reference my penis, I know.


Filed under Travel

Mucho Gusto Bucanero!

One of my favorite things about leaving the states, is I get to leave behind all the non-sense. What I should say is the non-focused bull shit that is American/Cuban relations, usually involving us taking a stand against a theory (communism) that really just doesn’t work. More poignantly, a whole failed campaign. WOW! I just alienated so many of my readers that are anti-Cuba or anti-Castro, well that just happened. This is why:

Without launching into a serious discussion, because we don’t like serious here, lets discuss beer. Yes, politics and beer, two subjects I am fairly *coughs* familiar with. What better subject to discuss while drinking your subject matter. I am talking about Bucanero cerveza, beer, bierre. From Cuba! Yes, I (may have) indulged in some fine illicit products from the some what misunderstood Cuban government. Ahhh, its good to be on a non-extradition island! 


Notice the cool hat!

Notice the cool hat!

This is not the best beer on the planet, but it has a few things going for it. 1) I have to go out of the states to get it, making me want it more. 2) A.B.V. (Alcohol by volume) is 5.4% not a bad shake. 3) The US government won’t let you have it, meaning, I have it and you don’t. Such a 5th grade moment. 4) The girl that sold me this brew is from Cuba, gorgious, and digs my tattoo’s (wish me luck)! 

But seriously this is one step above Bud, only because they use cane sugar to develop the alcohol content. While I usually applaud the increase in alcohol, sugar is not the best way to go. However, Cuban sugar has been a staple of their economy and the rum trade for well ever. So, one cannot fault them entirely. Okay, beer #5. But what truly gets me is the stamp. Its knowing I cannot have this anywhere else, because I am not in congress yet (a story for another day). I mean all that is in this is water, barley, sugar, hops. Not that impressive on its own, but combine it with years of ostrization, and we have a JP favorite.


Look at the last few words...Producto De Cuba.

Look at the last few words...Producto De Cuba.

But really why I like it, is because its cheap! Lol, so I am going to have a few more before I have to be responsible. Enjoy the thought of imbibing in something your government says you cannot have, I know I will.


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Today it’s accpetable to hate me.

Woke up right about noon, just knew I had to be in Compton soon…Wait wrong post. However, my drive into work was reminiscent of a good juke box in a strange and seedy, yet classy bar. My I-Pod did me a solid rolling into work, by jamming out Portishead, Rancid, 311, Ludacris, Passafire, Hank Williams III, and Hepcat just to highlight a few. But that is still not what this post is about.

Was it the weather? Rolling strong in the Lincoln, windows down, with a cool temp of 60 degrees? Nope but we are getting close. Could it have been that I was on time for work for the first time in 3 weeks? Maybe. It has to be my dashing good looks and sex appeal! Nope. Wrong. The real reason to hate on JP today, is I have to go away next week on business and today I cannot maintain my site, due to the large volume of prep work.

Where on Earth is JP going you ask? South, way South. As in south of Cuba but north (I had to type north like 6 times, I am still challenged) of Columbia. Yes my friends I have to venture south with temps this morning of 75 at 74% humidity. At this point if I was anywhere that just had snow, I would be hating on me  as well. But friends, I do not tell you this to estrange you, I tell you in order to get excited!

Coming next week:

I review Cuban embargo products that you can’t get in the states.

Examine Island culture and peoples attitudes.

Highlight why a honkey loves the Reggae Riddim’.

And of course the ever so popular TMI Thursdays!

Stay warm and full of booze peeps!


Filed under Travel

Where do I sign?

I realize I am getting bored with my “daily routine” in that the only routine thing is work, even then it can be a bit sketchy. The travel bug has infiltrated my brain once more, as in I need to bail out for at least a solid month and just get lost in another culture for a while. This way when I return, I appreciate my lifestyle and the things I have (insert something enlightening). Lets be honest, I like to see what I don’t have so that I can aspire to do better, plus any time I can cause some non-sense on foreign soil I am down with. So here are the top 10 destinations that you would likely find JP visiting sometime soon. If you feel I have left a special place out, please chime in:

1. Cuba- Seeing how I dated most of the Cuban females in Florida, it is only right that I drift on down. Its a time capsule of 50’s revolutionary thought and lifestyle. It would give me a chance to work on my Spanish. Plus every time I go to Cayman, I fly right over the island. Each flight I say the same thing, “rum, cigars, cheap eats, and beautiful women, of course the government wants to keep that all to themselves. Bastards!”

2. Iceland-I am a huge fan of hot tubs and this country is one massive tub of hot bubbly volcanic goodness. Added bonus, ice hotels and hot women that have been trapped in doors all winter.

3. Spain- Its Spain, need I say more? Seriously.

4. Moldova- A good friend of mine is from here and his family owns a vineyard. I would like to see what a dissolved lesser known eastern block country has to offer a “gentlemen of question”. I hear the Russian mob runs this joint.

5. United Arab Emirates- What a contradiction. Islamic law and adaptation of western culture? Sure, this is the same place where the dj’s play all night until the call to prayer is heard in the morning. Man-made islands and indoor snow boarding in the desert. I might end up being here for a 6 month stint.

6.  Israel- 3 main religions dispute over this area. It has to be worth visiting. Think about it.

7. Bali and Java, Indonesia- I have wanted to surf these islands since I was 15. I have not changed my mind.

8. Germany- Chocolate Bear has family and friends there; this will prove to make a great adventure guaranteed.

9. Fiji and Samoa- I have also wanted to surf these islands and get a traditional tattoo. The kind where they use whale bone and a hammer instead of an electric gun. Kind of bad ass status comes with that kind of pain. Plus when I was in Hawaii they wouldn’t do it and called me a “howie,” thats basically Hawaiian for “cracker.”

10. Ireland- I want to do a driving tour of my ancestral home land. Take in the emerald isle on my time and really get to see the land.


Filed under Travel