It wasn’t long ago when change was everywhere. Change that required hard work and great sacrfice on all that participated. Lives were lost and ideals were either proven or rejected. Regardless of the end result, these hearty men and women stopped talking and made shit happen. These days, we as a society are too weak to truly stage a revolution of the past, but instead we have our own personal struggles and strife. It is the assault on one’s personal identity and comfort zone that is this generations claim to independence. As much as I want this post to be a valiant profession of my internal struggle, it is really just a scared guy trying to sort it all out.
On Friday, after I unloaded all the stress of my week onto print, I decided that my life needs to go in a new direction. The firm feeling that I am truly on my own, in all matters, boiled over and shook my core a bit. I have accepted that I am on my own and I will be in control of my success or failure. I had been holding off on all concrete plans about moving and starting school, all the while saying, “I am just not sure what I am doing yet.” That all changed on Friday afternoon. I rang the school that I was accepted to in the D.C. area and told them I will be attending class in January. BAM! Trigger pulled on grad school.
On Sunday, I told both roommates that I would be out of the house and back into my apt in VA the weekend of Thanksgiving. I figure that I will hang out with the extended family before I go that way we all can spend time together before I am all broke. The problem with my moving plan is that I will be doing all of this a few days from my birthday (December 2) and of course a month before Christmas. Never said my timing was perfect, just doing what I can do.Today, I have handed in my formal resignation at work. I am giving them 5 weeks notice to get someone to fill my spot. Whether they fill it or not, its their issue. I am giving them ample time to get things off the ground. So, now that I have put this plan into motion (not really a plan, more like action) I have to do this. I do not have a job lined up where I am going and have never left a job without having another one lined up. I am freaking the hell out, but it is a calm and focused sort of energy.
Here is how this will go down:
- Move the rest of my stuff to D.C. before my birthday.
- Find a job, any job, within the first week or two.
- Start a full load (3 classes) the second week of January.
Here is what I am worried about:
- Will have a trouble finding a job and will run into financial difficulty. Nothing like a 29 y/o male with no job to really attract the ladies.
- Will be 29, broke, and really up a creek.
- Will not be able to give christmas gifts to those I love. Christmas in my family is a huge event and it looks like I will be spending it alone. I don’t mind the lonely part, its the not being able to get anyone anything that really bothers me.
- I could fail and fail hard.
- I am finally doing what I have been talking about for over a year. Maybe not the way I wanted to, but it is on.
- I have the potential to succeed and do great.
- There are people that support this decision and really don’t think it is too crazy.
- I am advancing my education in a way I have always wanted and no one can take that from me.
- I have done crazy shit before and come out on top.
So, I am going to see how it all plays out let it ride. I just keep telling myself one man’s genious is another man’s insanity.