Tag Archives: Beer Fest

Peace to the East!

What up Beeetches!

I was going to write about an idea1 I had about creating an urban drug Olympics, where you would take users of things such as meth, crack, pcp, and smack, and pit them against each other in competition. Think Cops2, just more creative and an awards ceremony at the end; nothing amazes me more than a tweaker running from the cops.

Although the Junkie Olympics3 will not fully be discussed here today, something more important will be.

NA, NA, NAH, NA, NA I am going to Beer Fest!

Yes, my name is JP and I am five. If you have been reading for a while you may know I have been brewing my own beer for about 7-8 years and I keep getting better with ages.4 I have always heard about the Great American Beer Fest in Colorado, and have always wanted to go. I realize they charge too much and the cup they give you is pretty small, but you are also talking to the guy who drank Kona Brewing Company’s Pipeline Porter dry at the NOVA Brew Fest and got totally hammered with brass in the State Department; I love my friends.

Its not about the price or the size of your glass5 it is the Fest itself. To wander the isles checking out new and upcoming breweries or the old guard. The entire festival is broken into regions, so of course I have my plan of attack all mapped out. I am going to destroy the Pacific and Rocky Mountain sections, as we in the East, rarely get the chance to check them out. Don’t get me wrong, the East has many of my favorites, but the West is like the rare tuna you can only get at the pricey sushi joint you have always wanted to go to.

Anyways, my point is I am really excited about trying new things and having a well deserved good time. Next week I have some pretty awesome guests stopping by to season your melon with goodness. So, at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow, I will be taking off to end my 35 days of sobriety and hopefully starting a new or at least different chapter in the Gospel of JP.

1Like all good ideas this one came to me while dropping a deuce the other day.

2I know you have watched. We all have watched at some point in our life.

3Its mine. You can borrow, but don’t steal.

4Can someone remind me to bottle the Saison I have fermenting in DC while I am there please?

5You totally were expecting me to reference my penis, I know.

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Filed under Travel

I got friends in low places… whores.

My friends never cease to amaze me. We all lead very different lives and typically hang out on the weekend, due to our messed up schedules. Well, I thought that my not drinking would possible alienate my friends, as we all go out together. Come to find out we are friends, because a real connection. We bust balls and talk shit, but thats how we show love. I have made it exactly 30 days with no alcohol being consumed.

I thought that it would have been harder than it has been, but really, its been very mellow. The above mentioned friends have been very supportive. Although Saturday, my friend brought over roughly 40 cases of beer (I am not kidding) the entire fridge (see below) was full on every shelf and drawer. So much beer that Chocolate Bear had to take half home with him. Speaking of CB, he kept pushing beer on me during the game, I love that guy. Ass.

The man cave is now complete

The man cave is now complete

Though, a very special mention goes to Justagirl as she has been on the same plan as I. Her supportive words and threats of violence have kept me on track in this little adventure. Texting each other complaining that we want a beer or dear lord Baby Jesus, the Russian Standard bottle is talking shit and calling me a pussy again. She was there in a metaphysical sense to keep me in line. For that, I am grateful. On Friday, I will be joining her for our first beer in 35 days then tackling the Great American Beer Festival in Denver; one I thought I would never have the opportunity to go to. Lets just say, all around I am wicked pumped.

So, Friday I bail out for beer fest then jam down to the islands for a week. Next week a few special guests will be popping in and filling the void. Before I embark on this small adventure I would also like to thank my readers. Those that left positive comments or the occasional, “dude, whats wrong with you?” I totally appreciate your support as well. Just another small accomplishment that reinforces that I can do anything I set out to do. Cocky? Yes. Point proven to myself… Priceless.

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Filed under Friends