Don’t trust a sheep farmer or my Sister for that matter.

Welcome to TMI Thursdays! As LiLu always says: Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

I told you last week about the incident with the sheep farmer and how he shouldn’t trusted. Well, actually, its my Sister that really shouldn’t be trusted. I had just returned from Australia and was in DC for New Years eve 2006/2007. We decided that we should go to Dupont Circle1 and hangout at one of the bars there. Well, before we went out, I wanted to get a new shirt and tie, just to keep it on the klassy. Went to a store called Pink, found a very nice shirt, and was talked into a pink color tie. We pre-gamed a good amount and I should have known things would go down hill from here.

Getting dressed to go out I was convinced by my sister and her roommate that I should wear the new shirt and tie I just purchased. I was in, cause I looked good; Blue dress shirt with white French cuffs, black pants, nice shoes, and a pink tie. We headed out into the depths of the Circle to find “our” bar. Insanity, bars were charging like $50.00 just to get in and there was nothing special about these places. So, my Sister pipes up and says, I know this place in Adam’s Morgan2, not knowing any better, I was of course, in.

We got into a cab and quickly discovered that the cabby was either drunk or just plain mental. As we get in, he notices Jen’s gigantic tits3 and we were off on a ride to Adam’s Morgan. The cabby made inappropriate, yet funny comments about my Sister and Jen, and was all “I love the lesbians. I wish my wife was a lesbian.” We thought it was funny as shit. Yeah, kind of creepy. In that DC is kind of creepy after 11pm anyways, way. Dropped us off in front of the bar.

Things were looking up, the line was short, admission cheap, and a the few girls in line were really hot. Of course started talking to them and was working out a few things. Went inside, got a few drinks and we all started dancing. Then, all of a sudden, I got that strange feeling that I was somewhere I probably shouldn’t be.

Looked around and I quickly noticed that the M:F ratio was once again, unequal. I looked at my Sister, who instantly knew, I knew what was going on and I said, “what the fuck, you brought me to a fucking sausage fest, on fucking New Year’s eve!” She said, “its cool. Plus its too late to go anywhere else.” Now, realizing that I was in a Gay bar, in Adam’s Morgan, in a pink tie, I quickly felt the need to run to the border and pound a few tequila shots. I came back to where the girls were with 3 shots and Jen says, “oh, I don’t like tequila.” Me: “Who said these were for you assholes?” Yes, obviously I was pissed. Like fighting mad pissed. Not that I was in a gay bar, but because the girls I was talking to in line, bailed as soon as they found out what the place was. I think I said something like “the gays chased my girls away.

So, as I continued to get bombed4 my Sister, knowing I am totally pissed went over and talked to a huddle of gay boys. Brought them over to tell me the following, “oh honey, we gave the straights the color pink years ago. Everyone here is keeps talking about the well dressed straight boy and his 2 lesbians. Lets have a drink.” After that was said, we all got bombed and I kissed Jen at midnight. Ended up having a nice time… After the reality of the moment faded.

Moral of the story, never trust my Sister when she suggests a place to go, without double checking with other sources.

1Our first mistake.

2If you ever hear “lets go to Adam’s Morgan, punch that person in the face.

3You couldn’t miss these things, they were a size double G or something. Once, I put her bra on my head and pretended I was working a rice patty. I thought it was funny.

4What else do you do in this situation?



Filed under TMI Thursday

15 responses to “Don’t trust a sheep farmer or my Sister for that matter.

  1. Pingback: TMI Thursday: In Which I Use Hot Dogs and Kielbasas as Euphemisms for Unexpected Stuff | Livit, Luvit

  2. Last time I was in AdMo I got in a fight at the Reef dressed as a German beer wench because of the asshole bouncer who wouldn’t let me return to the roof to retrieve my credit card.

    So I agree: AdMo is evil and should be avoided.

    Now, to think of a story I can post that won’t get me fired.

    I demand pictures of this!

  3. k8

    I love gay bars.

    That might be why I’m perpetually single.


  4. More than once I have been in a acb where I was convinced the driver was on something.

    Yet, I never get out.

    Its like a big roller coaster, you wanna get off the ride, but it is too much fun.

  5. Blondie

    LMFAO!!!!! That’s what sibblings do…I don’t trust either of my brothers, and I never go where they want. Safer that way.

    Funny post!

    Oh, I will get her back one day…

  6. Aw man I would be pissed too- I have nothing against the gay bar, but I also know that guys want to be where the chicks are- and it looks like the chicks weren’t there.

    Dude, the only chicks there bailed! I was so pissed.

  7. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    I’ll take that tequila.

    Yeah you will! You will take it good… Whaa?

  8. Hahahahahahah pussy. Wait. I mean…yeah, your sister is totally mean?

    Yeah, we will see what happens when you 2 get together.

  9. The Sis

    Hey in my defense (not totally mean) the ratio was the complete OPPOSITE the one time I had been. Almost all girls gay & straight. Little did I know they only welcome the dykes one night a week and it wasn’t New Years eve!

    He also forgot to mention being escorted to the bathroom by the gay boy. Due to his last encounter in Australia he refused to go solo. The nice little homo cleared the bathroom for JP’s use.

    HAHAHA! I totally forgot he cleared the bathroom! Ah tequila, how you steal my memories.

  10. We had some interesting cabbies when I was in college… Bear, Picture Lady, Jesus Cab.

    I kind of miss those creeps.

    Cabbies, good people to know.

  11. Marie

    When someone says to me “so we’re going out to Adams Morgan…” I usually stop them right there and then say “have fun!” and run off in the opposite direction.

    I’ve had my fill of Adams Morgan, thankyouverymuch.

    Like I said, punch right to the face.

  12. I had my bachelorette party at a gay/drag bar….

    Very nice.

  13. Wow – you end up in the gay bars a lot huh? Are you trying to tell us something? no j/k, but seriously at least you ended up having a good time…mean sister for not telling you though. I would totally tell my brother…maybe…unless it would be funnier not to in which case it’s a total toss up!

    More than I am comfortable with. Yeah, it was fun, but a mess at the same time.

  14. Pingback: So, don’t trust a sheep farmer, my sister, or me! « The Gospel of JP

  15. Pingback: So, don’t trust a sheep farmer, my sister, or me!

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