So it has been said

I have just confirmed what every ex-girlfriend has ever told me… I am impatient. I am impatient to the point that I stress over the littlest things, that I have absolutely no control over. A week ago last Friday, I interviewed for a major position, that would basically ensure me a bitchin resume within 6 months. Yes, this is most definitely a status position, one I would be very comfortable to posses. The lead up to the interview was a disaster and the panel style interview did not help the situation. I truly feel I did the best I could do.

With that said, it still doesn’t take away that feeling deep down in my gut, that say’s “strong work on the interview, but we decided to go with someone else.” I heard nothing. No call, no email, not even a carrier pigeon. No news is good news right? Yeah, tell that to your girlfriend while she pees on a stick, wondering if it will turn blue. Or while giving blood, to hear if you are a winner of the HIVy award. It is all nerve racking. You feel you know that you covered all your bases, but something deep down is panicking.

Then, the self destructive behavior starts. Yeah, I am totally awesome and can deal with my feelings in an amazingly mature way #Fail. Binge drinking, yelling at people, anti-social behavior, and of course, smoking. All signs that I need to get my head right and get back in the game. I have not heard anything yet and still I act is if the world is melting and I need to go down with it (TWSS). Hell, maybe a hobby will help???

I know this is my own delusional paranoia, personafied by past trauma. I get it. But what the hell? What is the point of this post? I have no idea. All I am saying is I just want the chance to prove to myself, that I can do anything I set my mind to. This waiting thing though, may just be the end of me. Dramatic, yes. Paranoid, oh god yes. Thankful that there are supportive people out there, that listen to my whining; more than you will ever know.



Filed under Life

22 responses to “So it has been said

  1. littlemsblogger

    Ahhhh…waiting is the best part of the interview process – didn’t anyone ever tell you that? LOL.

    I tracked down one recruiter for 2 1/2 months only to learn they pulled the position.

    I hope that is not the case. Maybe they haven’t finished the process.

    I am just being a giant D-bag about the whole thing and stressing myself out.

  2. Marie

    Hi, I’m Marie, the Queen of Impatience. No, but seriously I am.

    Here’s what I try to do (but fail some of the time): keep busy to keep your mind off of it. I know, almost impossible but sometimes does work.

    Yeah, I think I will hit the bike trails pretty hard today to wear myself out.

  3. There are few things more agonizing to me than waiting to hear if I got a job I really wanted, so I completely empathize with you on this.

    Good vibes being sent your way!

    It is appreciated.

  4. First, I hope you get it. Second, I think it’s the sign of the times. In the better economy, calls were made pretty quickly. I’ve been lucky and only interviewed in “good times”. Got calls back within a day. But I know people who are waiting days and weeks now. Partially because employers are sifting through candidates because more are available. Partially because they are holding out as long as possible before hiriring to ease the expense up a bit.

    Good luck!

    Yeah, I am like a charm city whore. Effective and cheap. I mean come on…

  5. 1) I fucking hate panel interviews.

    2) I too, am impatient.

    3) The employer should read this. They will hire you on the spot if they do.

    This panel interview was not that bad. The last one I did with the Fire Department, they were out for blood. That shit totally sucked. Like I said, trauma.

  6. Just A Girl

    This is a comment. I wrote it just for you. And thank god for Madden 2010 and party plans. Gotta keep you entertained. 🙂

    Thank god for a lot of things these days…

  7. Argh. I feel you. The waiting game is the cruelest game of all… and yeah, waiting for the fucking stick to (not) change colour and for your friggin’ blood test to come back is the WORST.

    All are related.

  8. The Sis

    OMG. Tell me about it, it’s killing us too. The flying circus freak asked me yesterday if you had heard. My reply? “Oh hell no I am not calling and asking, I am sure between his own pressure, your mom and the matriarch that is my maternal line, he’s got enough going on over it.” We talked a little more, then I added, “He’ll let me know, he needs to give me time to get my extra crap out of the storage, I mean his bedroom.”

    Yeah, I am good at destroying myself. I have been avoiding all blood lines at this point in time. Yes, get yo shit out my room! 😉 Oh, is my vodka still left?

  9. f.B

    Panel interviews are just overkill. Like they can’t decide which person should be evaluating us so they make a whole damn party out of it.

    But anyway, keep your head up. Hope you get the position.

    I mean if its going to be a party, at least pour me a proper drink.

  10. The Sis

    Vodka, what vodka?

    The one that should still be in the freezer… Bum.

  11. Panel interview = hyperventilation ’round these here parts. But the waiting sucks, too—good thoughts your way.

    It’s cool. I have been through worse, but it was total over kill.

  12. k8

    You just wrote about me. And it’s not impatience, it’s fear. So there. Name it what it is. It helps.

    Okay, that sounded really bitchy. Sorry. But all I read is fear.

    No my dear. It is not fear. It is impatience, to know if I am good to go, or need to stop obsessing. I have a fear of snakes, not people.

  13. Oh man, I feel your pain! Good luck!

    It’s cool. Thanks.

  14. blondie

    I feel your pain. Hang in there. I hate interviews let alone group ones, no thanks! You aren’t alone about being patient. I suck at it too.

    The problem is, I am like this in all areas of my life.

  15. I hope you get it. But, meanwhile, why not set up some other interviews? Basket. Eggs. Just saying.

    Oh, I have been putting in for positions everywhere. Though, I really want this one.

  16. Its so hard waiting to hear back from potential employers! Torture almost. But don’t give up! If I were you, I would throw myself completely into job searching and researching the companies you might be interested in working for. Are there any employment counselors in your area? Perhaps you could get them to critique your resume or provide other advice.

    Best of luck! 🙂

    I have totally been hitting things pretty hard. But, this one is the crown jewel.

  17. kim

    I see nothing wrong with binge drinking and yelling at people. Isn’t that normal?

    Yea, pretty par for the course.

  18. Just A Girl

    Hmm I don’t think you’re gonna have any vodka left when you get back… 😉

    Hmm, I don’t think so either.

  19. Matt

    smoke a spliff and relax, man.

    If it was me, i’d just resume life as if they said no already… fuck em. anyone who looks like em.

    You are a wise man and I have decided to go that route.

  20. I was BLINDSIDED with a panel interview when I came in for the job I have now. I hope you’re as lucky as me…

    Hopefully they will embrace my sexy powers!

  21. Have a bit of patience. Major positions are not easy to fill and with so many people who are qualified and looking for jobs, companies take their time to choose the most qualified among all of you. Good luck though and have faith.

    I keep hustling.

  22. Just breathe! xo

    I have gotten over myself. I was being lame, but still, I really want this job.

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