With all the new and exciting things going on in my hood, reality kind of kicked me in the balls the other day. I was on the phone with the admission director for the masters program and told her I would accept the Spring 2010 position. Hung up the phone, looked around, and said, “oh shit. This just got real!” Had a small, “what the hell am I doing” existential freak out and my mind was going a mile a second. I just made shit real.
Its mellow. It took me by surprise a bit, in a good way. See, I have been dragging my feet a bit and just “going through the motions” of relocating and pulling my shit together. Well, now that I have a goal set things are finally feeling as if I am on my way; to where I do not know. Well, I have got school locked down and 2 days after I got the news, I lined up an interview with a really significant place that will only improve my resume. This goes down next Friday and I am totally pumped.I am way under qualified, but I feel if I give it a shot, it will be great practice for anything in the future. I hope it works out, but I know the reality involved.
In preparation for this interview and other things I started boxing more of my shit up. I mean to find out how much shit can fit in a Lincoln Town car. The interesting thing that kind of sealed the “feeling deal”, was a conversation with the girl I have bee seeing the past few weeks. She told me that she heads to Chicago the day I leave to DC. Side note: This is not the first time I have had a temporary relationship while plotting my next move, it seems to be my thing. Anyways, it just put the nail in the proverbial coffin for me, knowing that while I am here, it is temporary.
Another realization after this past weekend, is that I am ready to move on in life. I want a professional career and a strong woman to be with. For years I struggled to put things together. I was not disadvantaged but at the same time I had no edge. I know what it means to struggle and have nothing. To make it on your own and do things your own way. Lots of lessons learned on this path. Now, I am ready to explore, not necessarily jump into, the potential of a long term situation. Let’s face it, I am not the best looking guy and a bit over weight, and I am sure over time it will only be in decline. I am 28 and feel a new chapter is ready to be written. The good thing is, I am focused challenged have a goal insight to thwart my boredom.
So, renewed with confidence and potential on the horizon, I am moving more of my shit to my empty room in the DC metro area. I am coming in next week and hope to meet up with everyone. It could go 2 ways. 1) Totally pumped from the interview 2) totally bummed from the interview. Either way means that I will be out on the town Friday night. So look out DC, JP’s coming home!