Be a man!

Lately I have noticed that we as men, are no longer men. I mean this in the most traditional reflection of what a man should be. Example:

If you wear these, you are not a man!

Taken from Hot Topic

Taken from Hot Topic

Seriously, how do your balls get oxygen? Oh, yea skinny jeans= no balls.

If you look like these knuckle heads, you are not a man:

What not to do if you want to be a man

What not to do if you want to be a man


Does he live in NJ?

Does he live in NJ?


What is NOT wrong with this?

What is NOT wrong with this?


If your hair cost more than your girl, you are gay!

If your hair cost more than your girl, you are gay!

I am sure by this point you are thinking, “what the hell is JP going on about now?” Simply put, these douche bags above were “competing” on a show called Daisy of Love. They were trying to “earn” the love this seriously crazy and hot broad’s “love”:

I really like 'em crazy!

I really like 'em crazy!

So how did I come across this abortion? Umm, did you see the pic above, she’s hot and totally insane! Me=Total sucker. So, I started watching this show and my immediate thought was that men these days, do not know how to be men.

Think about this, in the 1930’s and 1940’s men had 2 roles provide and protect their (insert wife, home, booze) what ever. Their duty was to, well, be men. They are called the greatest generation because they went to war, defeated everyone, then took over the world. I vaguely remember someone else trying that too…

I would file this as #failedatlife

I would file this as #failedatlife

Again, the skinny jeans, goofy ass hair cuts and really, really flamboyant clothing is just not working for the men of America. I mean, how can any country take us seriously with the clowns dressed up like the picture above? I remember my Grandfather telling me about gin joints, chasin’ skirts, and of course working hard and making a living. Look at man now. We no longer work outside, our farming industry is in the dumps, and obesity is our worse enemy.

When did we as American men become such pussies? Now, I am speaking in an overture; fire fighters, military, and hard working guys all around are our only saving grace.* Now, we sit on our asses and stare at computer screens all day. How did this happen? For god sakes, men used to carry flasks of gin and wear hats with their suits. They knew how to fix their (insert anything you touch) with the most basic of tools. Men never needed to “work out” in a gym, the day’s labor took care of all of that.

Recently speaking with a good friend, I realized that we, as men, are not meant to be kept indoors. The glass prisons of the corporate world are oppressing us. Seriously, when was the last time you guys out there went hunting for your own food? In fact when was the last time you grew your own food, or even cooked it? Let’s face it we are weak. What happens if the “big” day (nuclear Holocaust, 4 horsemen) of ruin comes upon us, would you be ready? Could you survive?

Face it, we are weak and have no class or style. When was the last time you opened the car door or any door for a woman? Stood up for someone that could not stand on their own? Or just do something that moves you.

Guy’s I am not breaking balls here, all I am trying to do is point out that yes we “evolved” but into what. The moniker of Gentleman was once used to represent one who embodied man. Seriously, I cannot remember the last time I heard that word used. So, this is my appeal for men everywhere to reclaim their manhood and “devolve” a bit. Go back to treating women like ladies, drinking from a flask, and get into an unapologetic fist fight with your buddies, just because he pissed you off.

Get out and be a man! Blast some Skynard, drink from a can, and grill an animal you killed yourself. Then for the coup de grace find the hottest broad in the joint and take ‘er home.

P.S. Ladies, this was purely targeted at the guys today. I have one for you in a few days.

*Please note Cops are not on this list.


Filed under Life

19 responses to “Be a man!

  1. bakingwithplath

    I would never date any of those guys or even let them touch my tits, which is really saying something because I basically let everyone have a grab if they ask nicely. I’m a giver.

    I have to admire your giving spirit, please save me a feel.

  2. Amen to that. I hate semi-men or metrosexuals. They totally turn me OFF. I like smart men but they mustn’t be afraid to break a sweat / make themselves useful :o)

    Some of the sharpest dressers I know, are real men. They would never say “metro-sexual” in fact you can get punched for saying something like that. You can be a man and still be of a different sexuality.

  3. But does this mean us ladies can’t carry around flasks and drink from them? Because that would just be sad.

    Otherwise I completely agree with you.

    Ladies are strongly recommended to carry a flask. One of those garter belt flasks, now that is sexy style!

  4. Skinny jeans on guys are gross. Skinny jeans on girls are pretty bad to but on guys it makes me wish i was blind when i see it. There needs to be a law against skinny jeans.

    Skinny jeans and capri pants should just be outlawed. Period,

  5. f.B

    Nice shot at Jersey. Of course it’s the dude with the “satisfaction” tat. But I’ll admit: when I first saw that pic, I wondered if he was one of the Gotti kids.

    The funny thing is, I put the Jersey shot in there for you my friend!

  6. kim

    Are you sure that the blond one in the hat is a guy? Seriously?

    I debated this issue for a while before I posted the photo.

  7. Sounds like someone is jealous they don’t fit into “skinny jeans”. HMMMM?

    My man wears skinny jeans and his balls breathe just fine…He can rewire anything you give him, can use power tools, and is quite the gentleman (when he wants something)…

    Look I usually agree with you, but this time I gotta go with style. I like a man who has the BALLS, aired out or not, to put on something besides fucking khakis and shitty beer tshirt. I like a hot belt and underwear without holes. I like a man who has shoes other than flip flops and Doc Martins…

    on the same side of the fence…i don’t care for men, or woman, who try to cram their selves into skinny jeans when they shouldn’t.

    got it ? My man is skinny…skinny jeans suit him.

    don’t make me stand up and open a can of whoop ass on you…cause I will, i really will (all 5′ of me)


    Easy Killa! Any guy married to you is a real man! I am more focused on those dudes that do not possess the skills outlined above. Agreed, style is important. Overall, I still ban the skinny.

  8. PS….
    I like that you say knuckleheads


  9. ericanicole234

    the 80’s are coming back.. only scarier.

    It’s like a can of Aquanet exploded all over the place.

  10. I don’t mind a guy who takes care of his appearance but holy crap these guys make me want to stab myself in the eye.

    I prefer a little more “Man Men” kind of style but I’ll always appreciate a guy who can fix things, who sweats and BBQ’s like nobody’s business.

    I have been watching this abortion and I feel I should have stabbed myself ages ago.

  11. LOL! One of those dumbasses has the word “Satisfaction” tattooed below his navel! WTF?? (I’m thinking he’s never given a woman that kind of feeling before)

    I agree with you except on two things 1) To dress like a douche does not make one “gay”. Homos have WAY more style then these morons and 2) My man doesn’t kill animals and eat them, and in my eyes that makes him an even bigger man. He can make his own lifestyle/moral decisions and stick with them and that makes him incredibly masculine.:)

    I agree with point #1 and #2 was more of me regressing to a more primitive state to make my point.

  12. A freaking men.

    And the thing I really don’t get it, she was going after BRET… now, he may wear a little guyliner (which he may or may not get a R&R pass for), but other than that, he’s pretty manly, no? Wouldn’t they have tried to stick to her type?

    Rule of thumb: If he can’t pin me, I’m not interested.

    Brett is a man! He is a badass that runs through strippers and sluts like a freight train. He may even get hero status.

  13. If a boy’s jeans are tighter than mine, no dice. Same for hair longer than mine. And stupid fears like mice and bugs.

    Mind, I only own one pair of jeans (I look better in skirts and dresses… yes, even in the winter. I will never be one of those girls wearing sweats/pyjama pants to the mall) and my hair is halfway down my back, so the guys who DO look more girly than me are usually trannies.

    This is why I like you!

  14. Just A Girl

    Ugh I just threw up my lunch at those guys. I don’t eat meat so I’m down with a guy who doesn’t, but otherwise? You’re right on.

    Don’t eat meat? Is that code for something?

  15. Those were men? All of them?

    I may not be the picture of the perfect man (far from it), but I’m recognizable as a man, not a douchebag.

    That blond is fucking hot.

    Oh, and I hope it’s OK that my flask has my friend Mr. Jack Daniels in it instead of gin.

    BMT- May your blonds be tattooed and hot, and your flask ever full of Mr. Daniels. You are man sir!

  16. I think I love you. And I mean that completely in a non-stalkerish kind of way.

    I actually prefer my girls to stalk me a bit before, that way they know what to expect. Anytime babe!

  17. So, this is my appeal for men everywhere to reclaim their manhood and “devolve” a bit. Go back to treating women like ladies, drinking from a flask, and get into an unapologetic fist fight with your buddies, just because he pissed you off.

    You are now officially on my HOT List. Kudos.

    2 words: Boo YEA! Yes, I high 5’ved myself on that.

  18. hautepocket

    Typically I’m all for challenging gender roles. However, those skinny jeans seriously have to go. There’s just no way around it.

    Agreed. The skinny is not a good look.

  19. Hell yes.

    I actually wrote my senior thesis in Sociology in college on masculinty, the media, and the emphasis placed on looking good in today’s society vs. being strong and hardworking in ye olden times.

    Also, see my post today, very appropos.

    You totally get me!

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