This is what I would like to email someone in my office today:
I have a few comments to make about the time-line that was crafted. In fact I have a few general comments to make about things that have been troubling me.
1) Yes, as a team, corporate wide, we worked on this. However, I am the one that invested 4 days, again 4 days in pulling the resources together. Then distributed it to the sources and asked for their input. So, we did work on it, the entire department. However, it is best to recognize that it took me 4 days to accomplish it. When giving it to you (this morning) I was received with negative comments. Then, I was accosted by you making sure we were all recognized in this. This was not an individual credit issue, nor was it anything other than providing a detailed report to a guy that likes details. Your approach has greatly upset me.
2) Recent comments have been directed my way and I have held my tongue; however, today has brought these items to a head. In fact this morning a comment was made about “ritalin” because I wanted to get the time-line done. As someone who has ADD, this is highly offensive. In fact it would be the equivalent of me insinuating that you need lithium carbonate. Further more, the comment the other day about my hand writing the other day, was completely out of line. I know my writing is not the best and is something i just have to live with. Thats what you get for having many hand injuries and a shattered elbow as a kid learning how to write. Please keep your comments in check.
3) The daily tantrums I over hear have also gotten to me. Whether you are writing an email or just getting off the phone, you make very negative comments. The persistent outbursts make the work environment a very negative place to be and quite frankly, I am over it. Please keep your negative comments to yourself.
4) Over all your abrasive and in-flexible attitude make it very difficult to work with you. Might I suggest a more “grey” approach to things, as in our department, as you very well know, nothing is “black and white,” nor will it ever be.
5) Now that I have politely addressed these issues I would like to say one last thing. Just because I sit here and do not respond to your non-sense, it doesn’t mean that I will not react. Your unprofessional behavior will not be placed on my shoulders. In fact, step out of line again and I will bring the ruckus. Just because I wear a shirt and tie and “conform” to those that sign my check, does not mean that their isn’t a tattooed, crazy, slightly unstable mick lurking beneath. I will destroy you. Remember you need a job so you can pay for your wedding; I am looking for an excuse to get out of town. I highly suggest not giving me one.
In conclusion, I leave you with these parting words. Go fuck yourself you crazy-ass bitch. Do not fuck with me, cause my vindictive nature is truly embraced as I really do enjoy retribution. This retribution will come out in way you would never expect. Then, just for shits and giggles, I will write about it for the world to see.
Thank you for your time and attention to these matters.
Cooler than a Freddy Jackson sipping a milkshake in a snow storm,