In Which I Completely Copy My Wife, Maxie

Hey y’all! I’m the entirely deranged yet hopefully lovable LiLu from Live It, Love It. If you’re reading JP on the reg (DUH), then you’re already familiar with the most vile awesome of my brain children, TMI Thursdays. We’ll keep it a bit more low-key then that today, because it’s probably against some sort of blogging-societal rules to go over to another man’s corner and write about sharting yourself. You can thank me later. (Unless you just clicked on that, in which case, how did that breakfast look the second time around?)

In fact, I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about at all, until I read my wife Maxie‘s post yesterday. BRILLIANT, she is. And it just happened to remind me of my own fantabulous Senior prank…

We had worked our way through four years of high school and finally, GLORIOUSLY, had arrived at the top. The classes were assigned a color when they entered their freshman year, which they kept with them throughout their tenure at the school. Ours was green, and it was good for basically two things; Field Day, and the Class Prank.

The graduating class who passed green on to us was LE. GEN. DARY. You see, a class is forever judged by the prank they pull, and these people managed to steal the 20-foot inflatable Gumby off a building in Woos-tah, Massachusetts (A DOLLAH TWENTY-FIYUV!!!)- the same Gumby we all drove by nearly every damn day. He was a local icon, and he was green… and they stole him, and managed to get him up on the roof of our tiny little high school, where he waved at the world for a whole day.

Tell me that’s not awesome. Try. (See, you can’t do it.)

Anyhoo, the classes in between them and us were weak sauce, man. If they even pulled pranks, I can’t remember them, that’s how WEAK they were. So we knew when it was our turn, we had to amp it up. It had to be big, it had to be bold… we needed to make some history.

We had an advantage because as the girlfriend of an older degenerate, my already-graduated boyfriend has passed on to me the key to one of the school’s doors. (I didn’t ask how he got it. I didn’t want to know.) The night before Field Day, my hooligan Robotrippin’* friends and I snuck into the building, armed with green silly string, a whole lotta green dish washing detergent…

And a goat.

A goat that we had painted green.**

The funny thing is, I can’t even remember where we got him from (I think  he was donated from a classmate who lived on a farm)… but we sure did. We put that green goat in the middle of the high school courtyard, and then set to work silly-stringing every locker and detergent-ing every floor of that whole damn school.

Mama would be so proud.

The next day, we arrived on time for the first time in months to watch the reaction to our handiwork… and MAYHEM ENSUED. How the fuck do you clean up dish detergent, after all? WATER? Bwahahahahaha! And where, my friend, do you stash a green goat? First you have to check the Missing Goat ads, I suppose. School was shut down for two days while they tried to clean up our mess.

It was pretty damn smart for a couple of 18 year old know-it-all asshats, methinks.

We were grilled, but no one broke, and they never could prove who it was. We will be forever known as The Class of the Green Goat.

And I couldn’t be prouder. 

 

*As UD says, Robotripping: Drinking an entire bottle of Robotussin cough syrup (containg DXM), with the intention of purposely hallucinating.

**No goats were harmed in the making of this high school prank production.

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30 Comments

Filed under Friends, Life

30 responses to “In Which I Completely Copy My Wife, Maxie

  1. Matt

    Where did you get a goat from LiLu?

    I think some kid had a farm, or there was a petting zoo… it’s a little hazy. Thanks, Tussin.

  2. you are truly one cool cat. i want a green goat!

    Now I know what to get you for Xmas!

  3. So you said you used a goat, paint, dish washing detergent…I’m just making a laundry list, you know, to maybe do something similar at work.

    It’s very carthatic, my dear… trust.

  4. MiSS RAmbLEs

    hahahahahahahahaha…how do u get rid of washing dish detergent?!

    wish we had had school pranks oh the joys of an all girls boarding school

    My parents tried pulling that all-girls shiz on me. NOTHING DOING.

  5. f.B

    Could I substitute a llama for a goat in this prank? I have better access to llamas.

    Definitely. But I think they’re a little more bite-y…

  6. the green goat totally reminded me of the movie “the big green,” which this post also could have been titled. excellent film, excellent prank.

    Must see film…

  7. Just A Girl

    My school was way too big for anything cool to happen – no one was that organized. Matt can probably vouch that nothing that interesting happened, although I don’t know what happened the 2 years before I got there. Therefore, you are my hero.

    My favorite four words. 🙂

  8. omg the goat reminds me of the movie WIld Cats …yeah, one of my faves. Um …we were all about the senior pranks too …I vaguely remember hiding in the bushes from the cops.

    On many, many occasions… wait what?

  9. The losers of our school did my class’s prank. It was fucking lame and they had to stay after school to clean it up. Awesome, no?

    How did you not take the lead on that?? For shame.

  10. JFo

    Great prank. As impressive as the planning and execution were, the fact that no one cracked under questioning is what sets this apart. Also good to hear that the admins didn’t take the “we can’t punish the people responsible so we’ll punish everyone” route.

    There were many suspect groups, which helped… but yeah. Thank goodness… my rents would have freaked.

  11. TWO DAYS?! You guys rock!

    TRUTH.

  12. That is amazing. Two days off from school??

    The best we got was a delay when the senior class super glued the locks and slashed the bus tires. But that’s more vandalism than a prank, I guess.

    As long as you’re sticking it to the man, right?

  13. now THAT is a cool fucking prank

    I wish I could take credit for having thought of ANY of it… but at least I had the key!

  14. What pray tell did happen to the goat afterwards? I imagine this conversation occurred…

    I would not, could not, in a box.
    I could not, would not, with a fox.
    I will not eat them with a mouse.
    I will not eat them in a house.
    I will not eat them here or there.
    I will not eat them anywhere.
    I do not eat green goat and ham.
    I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

    With apologies to Dr Seuss and family.

    BTW, what’s with your HS? Classifying people in a caste system of color?

    It does seem a bit old-fashioned… I wonder if they still do. Sam.

  15. We didn’t even have class pranks…what a sad high school experience. Of course, our class was always the oldest and the first senior class, so…I guess that was on us.

    You could go back and offer your expertise to the classes there now… Viva la Revolucion!

  16. i was green too!! but we didn’t get to do senior prank, because the year before us closed down the school and so they installed cameras and threatened us with expulsion if we so much as TPed the girls’ locker room with green toilet paper.

    it’s a good thing i’m from nj or else i would blame you.

    so instead we pickled each others’ cars. which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, but not on school property. funzies!

    Pickled?

    You must elaborate…

  17. we didnt have class pranks. We were totally on the straight and narrow. but detergeting the floors (is that a freakin word?) sounds awesome. Imagine the janitors getting hours of overtime…. you probably helped their kids go to college!

    See? I’m a good Samaritan, really! And the goat didn’t seem to mind at all…

  18. this is classic. buh-ra-vo!

    Thank ya, thank ya. *Curtsies*

  19. Oh wow, that is the best school prank I have ever heard of! It’s sheer brilliance, really! Nice work.

    It was one of my finer moments. (Sadly enough.) 🙂

  20. our school has a pretty good prank history. one year they got into the headmaster’s house and moved all the contents of his living room to the quad, all arranged exactly as they’d been in his house. another class brought a cow up to the second floor of the english building. apparently cows can only walk UP stairs. i still don’t know how they got it out, ultimately.

    Ooooo, genius! I’ll have to shoot that on FB to the kids at my HS now…

  21. Dr. H

    this British kid totally one-upped the gumby-stealing class, and it was on his own parents:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/newsbeat/newsid_7961000/7961224.stm

    That takes cajones, man! *starts slow clap*

  22. That is awesome! The class above me got a sheep into our courtyard. I just remember a girl climbing through a window trying to feed it a sandwich and the Dean of Students yelling at her. HAHA! It was hungry… I’m sure… The soap thing is genius though.

    What kind of sandwich? Hmm… just noticed I haven’t eaten lunch yet…

  23. Ha ha!!! That is amazing. My school wasn’t cool enough for pranks, or even class colors for that matter. Every body just smoked pot or got in fights.

    Actually, that sounds pretty damn cool, too…

  24. So you were amazing even then? Damn, girl, you are GOOD!

    my senior prank got out of hand when we tried to burn the year of our graduating class in the hill behind school and accidentally caught the woods on fire. The fire trucks came and everything. It was great.

    And this is why I love you. (Hope you snagged one of the firemen…)

  25. And a goat? Best live ever!

    What DOESN’T a goat make better, pray tell?

  26. Wait, you grew up near Worcester? I know where that is! I’ve slept in that town before, like three times!!!

    I know… that’s nothing to brag about. Worcester actually scares me a bit. It’s kinda ghetto. No offense. I still love you. One of my best friends in the whole world is from Worcester born and raised.

    No, it definitely, DEFINITELY is. It’s come a long way, but I would never wish it on a tourist. What on earth were you doing hanging there?

  27. jen

    I think you should get a plaque made up with the deets and post it to your old school!! Somewhere the masses can pay homage to your genius! x

    I can’t believe they didn’t do that FOR us! It should have been our class gift…

  28. A goat?! Jesus, kid. That is special and highly impressive.

    We didn’t have a prank. We were all very scared of authority.

    How far you’ve come, my little one…

  29. liferehab

    I adore you! My class didn’t do a prank, but the one before us let in a bazillion cicadas. No where near as good as a goat and we didn’t get out of school.

    Cicadas? Aren’t those, like, locusts??? NOT COOL.

  30. Pingback: Awesomeness Abound: Your Loony Bin IS Fine, Benny Lava | Livit, Luvit

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