Stoopid is, as stoopid does!

I have been listening to my friends lately about their personal issues and trying to relate them to mine. As I said yesterday, I have had a rough few weeks; however, I am relatively sans serious issue. My ego bruises do not compare to those that have relationship issues (I have had no relations) and I may be broke, but at least I am IRS free (LiLu we will have that John Daly while cursing their first born). In general I am pretty mellow once I got over myself.

How did I get over all the non-sense you may ask? Well, I splurged on a Citizen Cope album after being inspired by FrancoBean’s free verse Friday and I got a bit Stoopid. Hop Stoopid to be exact. I broke down and bought a case of Lagunitas Hop Stoopid farm house ale. Yes, I said it, case! No bullshitting here. I was tipped off about a one case shipment to my local Total Wine and I could not delay. In fact I called the store over the course of 3 days to insure I was the only one to have possession of this item. When I called in, they said they sold out in minutes and had to re-order. I was proud.

Why would JP buy a case of an Ale called Hop Stoopid? No, it’s  not because I like a certain band from Cali, though this brewery is located in Petaluma, coincidence? I think not.

Seriously Stoopid

Seriously Stoopid

Anyways, here is the run down on the Lagunitas Stoopidity:

Special Ordered it from Total Wine: for $4.11 per 22 oz bottle

ABV: 7.7% Mellow, but will surely get the job done after a solid double duce.

O.G.: 1.085 They started off with a solid foundation of hearty malts

IBU’s: 102! Ever heard the term “take the enamel off your teeth?” You can feel the hop oil on you bicuspids! It is rad.

Overall Taste and complex: You may recall me going on about how good this brewery’s Maximus was right? Well, this is like the devil spawn of Maximus. White lacy head that complements the balanced and pale body. It has a citrus pine note that is like biting into a grapefruit, without the Atomic Sour WarHead reaction. It is a very low key IPA, usually to get the alcohol up, a lot of brewers will increase their malt/sugar profile. Lagunitas has shown they can have a ballsy IPA with an insane hop count while keeping it palatable. In fact you can have a few of these with out irritating your taste buds and or stomach; hard feat for a lot of India Pale Ales.

On the JP beer scale(1-10), I give this a 9.9 for the brewery presenting us with a proper India Pale Ale anyone would be proud to be a caught in public with.

This beer is like watching Eva Longoria and Kat Von D hook up! Let me give you a moment to process that statement. I know, just purely unreal. Okay so I too  just had a personal moment there. The sexy vixen of lace and seduction (malt profile)  meets the bold tattooed beauty (102 IBU’s of hops). This is not a voyeurs beer! This is a down and dirty make you and your entire crew blush kind of brew. Now, I have really put this one out there by the last few statements, I know this. I stand by my words.

Now, please realize this is not the greatest beer in the world, by far. However, all of the elements from malt, yeast and hops, this beer has come together very well. Think of it as that real lanky girl that had braces and was shy in high school. You would totally date her and probably even hooked up with her once or twice. Then one day you are in the grocery store several years later with your girl friend and up walks this beautiful super model. That. Knows. Your. Name. Then you have to ‘splain just how you know that bombshell vixen to your girlfriend; which subsequently gives her a “am I pretty complex” for the next year, kind of beer.

Thank you for your continued support of The Gospel of JP!



Filed under Booze

13 responses to “Stoopid is, as stoopid does!

  1. You are an Eva guy? Interesting. This is the second mention of her today and I just do not get it. Kat? yes. Eva? Nope.

    Eva has a low key dirty girl feel to her. Kat is just rad. Those 2 combined, I would never leave the house. Ever!

  2. I used to think Kat Von D was hot, but more and more she’s starting to look like Nikki Sixx. Who is not hot.

    I’m a ScarJo and America Ferrera girl, myself.

    I am a fan of pre-Nikki Kat. Seriously he is twice her age and that is just too weird for me.

  3. Just Playing Pretend

    I was that real lanky girl… however I missed the supermodel phase. Dammit.
    The beer sounds tasty though.

    Here at the Gospel, we don’t discriminate!

  4. “This is a down and dirty make you and your entire crew blush kind of brew.”

    That’s really the line that makes me want to try this.

    Oh man, it will change your perspective on IPA’s.

  5. so you mean this crap beer I’ve been buying for $7-9 for a six pack is not the best thing out there? hmmmmmmm

    I will make you a refined woman if it kills me. Wait, who are we kidding, I like you just the way you are!

  6. Matt

    Eva Longoria and Kat Von D?

    My fantasy is now complete. Thank you for that.

    I do what I can to ease the pain of the day.

  7. I’m with Lemmonex… I don’t get the Eva thing. Eva Mendes? Hell yes, but no way on Longoria.

    Maxie, this is why I love you! Eva Mendes is my girl. The Eva/Kat one on one was to contrast my feelings on this particular beer. Eva Mendes is in a class of her own!

  8. f.B

    Um. Did Maxie just say Eva Mendes and Kat Von D?


    That is all.

    This is why Maxie is awesome!

  9. Salma Hayek. Now, forever and always.

    Can she come to the John Daly?

    I will allow her to lead the charge! That way I can watch her from behind…

  10. Eva Longoria will have makeup on right?

    this is an important question

    Of course! No slackers here. Only me.

  11. k8

    I have nothing. I hated beer.

    But I still keep you around!

  12. I am with Just Playing Pretend..I’m still a nerdy, lanky girl. Gotta love us! 🙂

    As for the sexy girl-on-girl metaphor-Have you considered getting into advertising? You might make some brewing companies a lot of money. 😉

    That would be awesome to see girl on girl and get paid…

  13. Arrogant Bastard Ale. It’s great.

    I had it 6 months ago and it was pretty good, from what I recall

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