It is time for the many FYOTD’s. For those looking for the normal JP entertainment, sorry but today is not that day. Instead I am taking it upon myself to give some well deserved shout outs that I have been holding back.

1) To the government of an oil rich desert nation, you are first up. I would like to say FU for thinking the US economy is so weak that you could under cut the working budget and hire Bangladeshi’s at a cheaper price line. I hope your project goes straight into the shitter, as you cannot match US standards while employing non-US contractors. Oh, and thanks for stringing me along since November, appreciated. On a lighter note, whomever did make this deal package,from a foreign policy stand point it totally makes sense.

2) A huge FU to grad school that emailed me to tell me they would email me in 2 weeks to inform me of their decision. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, some one is fucking with me on this. Why on Earth would you mail someone that you have kept in the dark for months, to tell them it will be 2 more weeks. Come on. What is 2 more weeks of silence? This was poor execution.

3) To  the ex-girlfriend who has been thrust back into my life and infiltrated all of my female friends. Huge FU!!! You don’t talk to me for 2 years, then all of a sudden I can’t shake you. You are everywhere! Then, my friends ask, “JP why don’t you hang out with us anymore?” Simple. I am not going to deal with this non-sense. Oh yea, the text I got the other day inviting me to dinner with everyone because your family is in town. FU, because you went that concerned about me meeting them years ago. And good thing I asked who would be at said dinner, because upon investigation I find out your new guy is going as well. Strong work! Invite me to hang out with your family that you were embarrassed to introduce me to in the first place along with the new guy you are dating. All to use a buy-one-get-one free coupon. FU! Oh, yea this is my formal RSVP of, fuck no I will not be there.

4) To the female roomy.  Really? You are hanging with the said offender all the time. Okay, when I said it was cool if you hung out with her, I really didn’t think you would. Now, this is my fault for thinking a woman knew man law. As in, no other man hangs out with his buddy’s ex. At all. No matter what. Women don’t think that way and this is where the battle of the sexes can be strongly highlighted. Seriously, there is a reason the girl and I are no longer together. Why would I want her all up in my shit again? If you are going to live with guys, you must learn the law of the land.

5) To work: Yea, you pay me and I have a job, but come on guys. Seriously can we pull it together just a little? That is all I ask.

6) To the girl my sister reached out to, gave a place to stay, and hooked up a job… FU! FU for pulling some scandalous shit. For blowing up her work spot and causing drama for no reason. To think you guys were friends for so long and you ruin everything or someone you lusted after and only knowing them after a month. Seriously, that is bullshit. Even though you have done nothing me directly, I  still say FU. Blood will always be thicker than water and I can say from experince, Karma is a whore.

7) Last but most certainly not least. ME. Fuck Me! Especially for letting any and or all of the above bother me. For being impatient and intolerant of stupidity. For being a “nice guy” recently and allowing this to go on. A few years ago I would have dropped kicked these people for screwing around. I hear this is called maturity, but I don’t like it. F Me for being a hopeless romantic and wanting someone that it will never work out with. And an even bigger F-Me for having larger than life expectations for myself. I can only accomplish so many things at one time and taking on the everything at once will continue to frustrate me. As I have seen this lesson many times, I still have not learned it. Oh, and finally a huge FU to myself for turning down free Red Sox-Braves tickets last night, because I have to be all responsible at work and couldn’t skip out. I mean who is this guy?

If you have made it this far, tomorrow we will get back to the good stuff. I am reviewing the Lagunitas Maximus IPA and covering the finer points of ale selection. Thanks for bearing with me. Cheers!



Filed under Life

16 responses to “FYOTD

  1. I swear, some chicks are just braindead.

    I very much agree!

  2. I think I like man law better. Chick law has too many rules – hidden rules. I can never win.

    It is very straight forward. I need to find the book or write one for the benefit of all.

  3. f.B

    The law of the land must be respected, even by tourists.

    And free tickets? Dude.

    The problem is that even if the law is posted, the tourists still do not follow it; just look at the metro! To the right slow ass… Yeah, I know. My buddy with the tickets is an Lt. with the Fire Department. Soon the whole county will know of my lameness.

  4. I love man law.

    So do my close girlfriends…which is the only reason I tolerate them.

    See, things work so much better when simplified. I applaud you and your girls!

  5. Congrats on your rant. That ex-sucks. Never had that happen to me.

    I’ve always been the nice guy. I’ve stayed at jobs too long, let women lead me on forever, etc. etc. I’m done with it too. A new Tony is in town and he’s taking numbers.

    See the problem is that I was trying to be all enlightened and shit. Usually, I would blow the bridge sky high while laughing and smoking a cigar with a smooth Glenfiddich in my hand. This, we’ll call test case, has taught me many lessons about the opposite sex. I am not bitter about it, just more in tune with why I had my rule in the first place…

  6. Yeah, wow. F all of them! Except you. The ex-girlfriend drama sounds out of control! Tell your roomy how you feel and that you don’t want the whore in your place. and do it fast before they bond or some shit.

    Too late. I realized this about 3 months ago. It all came to a head with the text message and all the other shenanigans going on.

  7. who’s messing with your sissy? I’ll bitch slap em in a hot second. I’m coming around your end of the country the second to last weekend in May and I’ll gladly do it. Please, can I?

    Actually the girl in question messing with her or being a complete twat, is in DC. So, yes, yes you can. When are you coming down? We need to plan!

  8. Just A Girl

    I love Super Troopers. I don’t even have to play the clip because I have it memorized.

    Also, I was asked by a friend to delete his girlfriend as a fb friend because she’s causing problems. I think that would fall under this man law business. As much as she and I personally get along, I guess I really have to go with my boy on this. MAN LAW.

    Now I feel like stomping around the office making T-Rex noises. Don’t ask me to explain. Just accept that man law caused it.

    I accept you for who you are. Strong work.

  9. Sorry, there’s a Man Law now? I thought the beauty of the male species was in its simplicity… no equivocation, no passive-aggression…

    Now I have to go re-evaluate all my relationships with the other sex.

    Man law was established to keep things simple among males. So simple in fact many women breeze over it.

  10. Matt

    Allright dude, I am late to the whole FYOTD party… I understand what it means, but what the fuck does it stand for.

    I hate acronyms. They complicate my otherwise simple life.

    Fuck You Of The Day… Pass it along my friend.

  11. feel better? tell us what else pisses you off. get it all out.

    So it is done.

  12. Deep breath… there, don’t you feel better?

    God, I love FYOTD’s.

    I thought I would, but not yet. Getting there…

  13. k8

    I respect man law. I won’t even consider befriending a man who hurt my girlfriends. Wrong. Very ,very wrong.

    See you get me!

  14. Eh it’s okay to let stuff get to you sometimes. It’s good for your health.

    Rock and Roll!

  15. Well done. Bravo! Excellent FYOTD!!
    I got all riled up with you! FU Ex-GF!! FU Grad School! FU Work!

    I was in the zone on this one!

  16. You turned down free tickets to– well, anything? Damn.

    And I think a little practice on your drop-kicks could only make you sexier. Or, actually, maybe you shouldn’t. Any sexier and you’d be hazardous.

    Look who’s talkin’ Emma…By the time I’m done I will be a sex machine!

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