Ladies and gentlemen, last night I was that guy. The loud crazy friend bought the beers and made you drink them; made the bar tender funnel a beer. Strong work Benny! But more so, I was a gigantic cock-block game killer to my buddy J-Man. Let me sprinkle some seasoning:
Al, JP, J-Man, and Chocolate Bear were sitting at the bar in the very packed living room. CB and I were pretending we were fighter pilots and making a squelch noise before we spoke. I know, but it was fun. Then out of the corner of my eye I see this decent, but not my speed, blonde come up and talk with J-Man. Things were going well and tracks were laid. The night pushes on and beers were put down. Then I decide I am a B-52 bomber and need to drop atomic bombs all over J-Man’s game. This is what happened.
J-Man was talking to blondie and I come strolling up. I think I whispered to J-Man the following, “Dude, she is totally digging on you bro. Go in for the kill and get the number.” Then it happened. Blondie turns around and say’s, “I’m not deaf you know!” Yea go me. My recovery was something like ah f— it! J-Man was D.O.A after my little “intervention”.
I said my 1,000 apologies to J-Man and the rest of the group, as I broke man law and they needed to know. Hey I’m not perfect (just damn near close) and I admit my wrong doing. But then what do I see? J-Man gets up dusts himself off, writes down the tag number to the bus I just threw him under and walks it off like a champ. He goes right up the blondie and lays down the following agreeable observations. “Hey my friend can be a real asshole, but means nothing by it. In fact he is an idiot. Don’t mind him, he doesn’t know any better.” True champ reversed the bus and chucked me right under. Rightfully so.
Then, it went down. Digits were exchanged and words were spoken. Done Son! My boy made a full recovery. I promised I would make a public apology today for my actions last night. So, here goes:
J-Man, my bad bro. I doubted your skills and prematurely intervened in matters that needed no intervention. I chucked you into on coming traffic and left you for dead. I am sorry. However, I am totally proud that you pulled up proper and did not let that get in you way of the target. You were locked and loaded and truly an all star of the night. I am proud to call you friend. Strong Work Bro, strong work!