Helping the guys

Gentlemen, the other day I was on the phone with a (girl) friend of mine and she was complaining that her boyfriend never did anything for her. I quickly ran interference and listed a few things like diamonds, Cristal, and various vacations. Like the good the good friend I am, I told her I was done with her, hung up, and called her boyfriend. I asked him the following question, “dude, how can you put up with her?” His reply, “Bro, she’s hot and I get laid WHENEVER I want it.” I found no flaws in his logic. He proceeded to tell me about the situation at hand, saying that she wants him to be more giving in the sense of cleaning the house and cooking. I promptly stopped him there.

The girl we are speaking about is a vegetarian and by proxy so is he. So, my advice to grill up a steak was shot down quicker than Harry Whittington. Being the good guy I am, I suggested a nice soup since there is an Arctic blast rolling through where they live. I proceeded to tell him about a broccoli soup recipe that would kick her right in the baby maker and elevate him to domestic rock star status. He followed the following instructions and his status was swiftly “elevated” if you know what I mean. So, gentlemen, follow this recipe and you too can hang out with your wang out:

You will need

3 crowns of broccoli

1 pint of heavy whipping cream

1 wedge of sheep/goats milk cheese ( I used black sheep truffle cheese-good earthy balance)

Good cheese

Good cheese

salt and pepper for taste

Start by cutting up 2 crowns of the broccoli. Combine the cream and cheese in a bowl to have it ready.

Get your items ready

Get your items ready

Then steam 2 of the 3 crowns of broccoli in 2 cups of water. Use a steamer basket if you have one. If not boil the water then add the broccoli, cook until soft.

Steam is good!

Steam is good!

Once properly steamed, chop up the cooked broccoli in a food processor, blender, magic bullet or what ever. Keep the water in the pot (it will be green). If you do not have a way to chop it up, just dump it in the water and mash it up with a plastic spoon. Then, once properly chopped or mashed, add the cream/cheese mixture to the water and broccoli pot. Then season with salt and pepper to taste.

Umm, all done.

Umm, all done.

Let this simmer on low for about an hour stirring every 15 minutes. It will be rich and creamy and ready to kick your girl right in the ovary’s! Then, deploy the adult beverages and enjoy the fruits of your labor. I promise this will be a home run and she will leave you alone next time PTI comes on.



Filed under Cooking

7 responses to “Helping the guys

  1. k8

    What? No garlic toast? And is he going to CLEAN UP AFTERWARD, too? It’s all about the nuance.

    On another note. I tried to buy goat cheese this weekend and got so confused, I ended up with feta. Any tips?

    The clean up is all him. I am merely the path to righteousness, HA!
    Oh, that can be tricky. Depending on what you are looking for hard/soft or goat/sheep it should be labeled. Feta is goats milk, but it all hinges on what you are using the cheese for. You might want to inspect the label or talk with the person at the cheese counter for specifics.

  2. I find your Man-recipe refreshing. Way to take care of your own. We are cutting back on the dairy, otherwise I would tell my S.O. to get on it. I never thought the word elevated would ever be in another context. Funny.

    Sometimes you have to take one for the team in order to evolve. Elevate= going up?

  3. f.B

    I could definitely use some more PTI time. I haven’t seen Wilbon or Kornheiser in a week.
    DVR, thats how I survive…Knucklehead.

  4. Oh I want this NOW.

    It can be yours with $8 and 1 hour. Oh yea, cheap and easy.

  5. You are a saint. The saint of “keeping your buddies in poontang”, but a saint nonetheless.

    Kind of like NASA and Tang. I do what I can, but I am wondering when the favor will be returned???

  6. I would eat the hell out of that. Make me some and send it ASAP! I’ll send you a bottle of whiskey in exchange.

    Deal. I will make this when I get up that way!

  7. oh, and maybe it’s because I’m just totally missing it, but what do you do with the last stem of broccoli? I’m medicated today so please excuse me.

    I am proud to say that even my drugged up readers can count, but sadly I can’t. The 3rd uncooked broccoli crown, chop it up and while the mixture is simmering add it in. Gives it a bit of texture.

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