Ladies lets have a chat

I admit I am not the most thoughtful or proactive thinker of the male species. Take for instance Valentines day. I had no idea that is was Saturday and only realized it about  2 days ago. I was talking with the Guyanese Mafia (GM) and this was the dialogue:

Me- Yo! What are you doing Sat? You should come out with Roomy #1 and I.

GM-  My sister and I are going to meet up with some of her friends, its the BIG V day you know.

Me: Actually, I was just informed that it is the big V-Day! I had no idea until Roomy #1 told me.

GM-  Are you living under a rock, have you not been inundated with the ubiquitous ads about ‘showing her you really care–buy her diamonds’??

Me: Lol, I have DVR and I don’t listen to the radio. So, I have been oblivious to it all.

Then this morning a sign at CVS read this- Saturday is Valentines Day, are you ready?

I did start thinking about the principal of the day and figured out it is really one sided. Let’s face it, ladies you make out like a looter  during the Watt’s riot. Yea, I went there. I have been hearing a lot about what to get “Her.” Let’s flip the script for a moment and focus on the guys. You know, the powerless ones under the mighty vagina spell. Yea, those poor schmucks. The same guy that will drop a few Ben’s on dinner and chocolates and everything else that makes your ass huge; but then have to lie and say, “no hunny, really its not that big.” All the while imagining how many beers cans can be stacked on that massive trunk and wondering how far down the hall you will make before noticing. I bet 20 steps.

Anyways, like I was saying. I work with MANY crazy women that consistently complain about what their significant other got them previous V-days. Usually complaining about the last minute nature of said item. When I ask, “well what did you get him?” I am looked at as if I just jumped a fence wearing a shirt that says, the Ayatollah is my homeboy. Yea, ladies you are just as guilty of the last minute crime as us men. I am a repeat offender, but I have resources at my disposal.

If for some reason you run into a “last minute situation” meaning you are reading this and realizing, oh shit, maybe I should get “him” or  “her” (depending on how you roll) something then the following is for you.

Introducing JP’s awesome last minute “Guy Gift” idea’s:

This is just a small sampling of ideas. It is now up to you, good luck!

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7 Comments

Filed under Non-Sense

7 responses to “Ladies lets have a chat

  1. I usually just stick with a hug, kiss and a blowjob. Then again, that’s what I do pretty much every night. Hmmm.

    As for me, I don’t need nothin’ but some lovin’. For real. Flowers die, diamonds are just shiny rocks and I don’t like chocolat. Just last longer than ten minutes in the sack and I’m happy.

    I feel the same way. Simple is easy.

  2. Whatever Brother,
    Maybe it’s just me…maybe i get back what I put out? but I’m just not buying it. Let me do the blogroll of gifts i have given this person who sleeps in the bed next to me: iTouch, silver flask, custom made leather wallet,Tattoo gift certs, custom made shoes (and not hippie boots from the Ren Fest), Jameson, Fiddich, and special blend Jack, trip to Vegas, and a Hot Ass huge ‘rockstar’ sterling ring among countless box sets of VH, ACDC , TLE and others…
    and what do I usually find sitting on the table VD morning? A crap cup from Target filled with shit chocolate that’s just gonna make my tiny ass big 😉
    I am appreciative, don’t get me wrong…but hell…
    I hate VD…and I’m a woman.

    men need to put a bit more thought into what they are getting….hell I’d love a poem…i don’t know…now I’m pissy ;0)

    I can see your frustration! A trip to Vegas, hell I will marry you right now to get that! Strong work!

  3. You are so right. We “said” we’re not doing anything… but I better have a nice bottle of scotch ready, just in case. Good call

    You can never really go wrong there.

  4. k8

    I’m so simple. I just want lovin’. You can get me candy and flowers the next day. They’re half price.

  5. But hey, maybe those chicks got their fella some new lingerie and just didn’t want to tell a guy that wasn’t their boyfriend about it. Hmmm . . .did you think of that? I only thought of it because I just went lingerie shopping with my girlfriend for her fella’s V-day present.

    I think the best gift to unwrap is a woman!

  6. For me Valentine’s Day is like gym class. If I don’t dress for it, I don’t have to play. So if I get in my pajamas, I can lounge around with my sister and watch crime shows. Happy Valentine’s Day to me.

    Me, I am getting tattooed and have no plans.

  7. V-day is such a chick holiday. Remember a few years ago when 98rock started promoting Steak & Hummer Day? It was the male version of v-day and friggin brilliant.

    Ahh, good times indeed! Seriously that would be the best gift of all.

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