Joys of dentistry

Oh, joyous of joyful days how I love thee. The dark clouds are rolling in, while the wind blows branches into my newly waxed car, just as I step out the door to witness it all happen; I laugh. As I step out of the front door my head is greeted by a swiftly moving screen door courtesy of the lovely “breeze;” I say a soft swear and continue moving. Cruising down the road in my land yacht, I notice that traffic is at a complete standstill; I am unphased. Rolling into work 30 minutes late, only to be welcomed by the very boss I was hoping to dodge; I smile.

I make it to my office and have a seat. Looking around, I notice things are not as clear as they should be. Maybe, is it true? Yes! The pain medicine kicked in just in time (seriously right as I sat down). No more feeling like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee took turns kicking me in the face. No more having to deal with the annoyingly loud girl next door. I have transcended time and space into a zen world where nothing matters. I am JP’s happy tooth.

Tomorrow ladies and gentlemen, I will not be joining in the fun. Rather, I have made an appointment with a sadist. A professional well paid sadist I might add. One that can can prescribe wonderful little white tablets of joy. O’ happy day, I cannot wait to be cut open and my tooth ripped out of my skull. I imagine it as a Frank Miller graphic novel scene turned movie. A crazed man in a white coat with a pair of pliers, and just as he yanks tooth #32 the black and white screen is strewn with blood. As if it was solid red rainbow of bodily fluids.

Okay, I admit I am being overly dramatic. But truly I have to have a wisdom tooth pulled tomorrow and it will not be fun. At least I get to spend the weekend doped out of my skull.

1 Comment

Filed under Non-Sense

One response to “Joys of dentistry

  1. Oh man, I’m avoiding having mine taken out for as long as is humanly possible. Everytime my dentist tries to book me in I say something along the lines of “are you for real? That shit don’t come cheap!”

    I feel you, though. I’ve had three root canals (!!!) and there’s no pain quite like screaming tooth pain.

    Yea, I am not happy about this situation. Just give me a shot of whiskey and let’s roll.

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