And I bid you Adieu!

It has been a few months since I have posted, well, anything. There is a good reason for this and let me splain youse…

I moved to DC with a hierarchy of goals in mind and at the top of my list graduate school. So, pulled the trigger and moved. Made to the Deez C and hit the ground running. I have now been in the town for a few months and embarked on the psychotic journey that I call my life. I now work 40 hours a week at a job where I do not have internet or the ability to communicate with the outside world, needless to say, I will be finding a new job. I am also taking 3 graduate courses, to include weekend classes as well. Yes, my life is a bit off the chain right now. As I type this my roommates are moving out and I have to find a new joint closer to the city, as well as finding a new car due to the Wolverine incident.

Just JP

I started this blog as a way to keep writing, so not to lose any edge while waiting for classes to begin. Now that I am balls deep in school, I am going to cut this space loose. I enjoyed having an outlet and a place that I can rant, rave, and basically let me be me. I have met some awesome people through this blog and some crazy ass people too. It all comes with the territory I guess. All in all I would not trade it, nor would I do anything different.

JP

I feel this blog was only one side of myself, the nonsensical side, and I am glad that you dropped by to share in it. I would like to leave you with these parting words:

This will be my last confession,
Liberty can leave harsh impressions,
I have little faith forgive me for my past discretions,
But we live and learn that history and past are lessons,
Ive always played the hand I was given,
No exceptions here humanitys driven,
You see all men are born equal, just the standard of living,
That differs between the Jewish, Adriatic and Christian,
Im a logical man given to science,
Forgive me I know religion inspires,The day this is work the love of it dies, A handful make it, the others will strive,
And hunger can drive hatred but such is just life,
I guess jealousys the curse that the struggle inspires,
These critics seek to break and divide,
I know Im bitter but my faith is divine,
Take it in stride yeah I act like I hate it at times,
But I found love through this music and a place to reside,
For every friend I have an eager opponent,
For every cent I spent on meager components,
I gave something back so I dont feel the need for atonement,
Cause we all get our hands dirty when were seizing the moment.

From: 
http://www.musicbabylon.com

Again, thanks for coming by for the past year or so! Be sure to keep up with me on Twitter, JustJPTweet, so you can keep up with my insanity. If you see me on the streets, just say hi to a guy named JP.

For all the ladies heartbroken and seeking a male perspective on things, check out my friends:

12 Minds

A Jersey Kid

Big Money Tony

[F]oxymoron

Hailtheale

Hedonist Beer Jive

Hello Negro

Home Brew Chef

malnurturedsnay

Mental Poo

Playaz Ball

The Confessions of an Odd Duck

The Definitive DMBosstone

The Restaurant Refugee

The Wordy Ninja

White-Collar Redneck

Don’t forget to check out everyone else too!

My white flag is raised

Okay, DC, you got me. You got me good yesterday. In fact, I haven’t been punked this good in years. Let me splain youse…

I finally got a call back from the temp agency for a 1 day gig. Yes, 1 day, that pays. Not well, but its money. So, my unemployed ass rolled to this gig in Arlington and I was supposed to be there at 10 am. I chose to drive in, as I had plans in the evening and the bus schedule was not conducive to my social game plan. Well, I left the house at 8:30 and rolled to the metro closest to me. This particular metro has 2 parking garages and an entire stadium parking lot, so I didn’t think anything of it. I get there and the entire fucking thing is full. Great! Spent 20 minutes looking for a spot. Decided that it was a fruitless venture, so I jumped on 66. at this point, I knew I was fucked from the get go. Thank the baby jesus that I had gps on my phone or I’d be totally SOL. It took me about an hour to go 20 miles. Get to the job and have to pay out 1 hour’s worth of pay to park. Great, thanks, I see how this is going to be.

Worked for a company I have never heard of, so I decided to pretend it was summer camp, just in the winter. I know, it doesn’t make sense, but neither did the Russian broad telling me what to do.–Note to self, lean Russian and take over the world–So, my duties included, stocking general office supplies. Stocking the coffee pods. Now, it is important to note, that these people are addicted to their coffee; I swear I saw some rail-thin chick shooting up the mocha espresso in the copy room. Anyways, then I put mail, in a folder, with the addressee’s name on it. Yes, I was used to my full potential today. But wait, it gets better! So, in the afternoon, it was like arts and crafts time. Yes, a guy who can save/preserve your life was making…….. wait for it……. Fucking snow flakes from paper:

Look mom, I am making snow flakes!

Seriously, I put in the head phones and made snow flakes. Take that China, I was doing 3rd rate labor at 1st rate pay. USA! USA! USA! Okay, so it was fucking lame and the guys in the office were laughing, until I told them why I was there and what I was waiting on. They soon shut up. Bitches.

So, bailed out and rolled downtown for dinner. Well, on my way some asshat in a Lexus decided to take me head-on, on a narrow portion of L Street, so I swerved slightly and ate the protruding lug nuts of a moving truck, thus, shredding the right side of the Lincoln. Imagine the truck is this guy:

This was how I imagined the truck lug nuts to be

And my car as this:

Damage done after truck lug nuts

I am estimating about $2,500 worth of damage. NOT. FUCKING. COOL! At this point, I had already had a fucking weird day, so my car getting wrecked, seemed, well, trite. Seriously, I was either going to laugh or cry, and as we all know real men down cry unless they are watching Rudy or getting kicked in the nads. Time to play the game of “how good is your insurance?” So, I sucked it up and rolled to dinner. Poor girl, I felt like a neurotic mess by the time I got there and don’t remember too much of what I said, but I am sure it was uncomfortable.

Anyways, I was welcomed with open arms and had an amazing meal of Jalapeno Poppers, Greek Salad, Vegetarian Squash Lasagne, Baked Apple thing with cinnamon goodness all over it. So, basically, my ass was spoiled! Spoiled fucking rotten and yes, yes you should be hating on me right now, cause it was awesome. It was flat-out amazing and a couple glasses of wine later, all my worries were gone. Moral of this story? A good meal with good company, can wipe clean an entire day of absolute fucking non-sense. I don’t think she realized how good the evening made me feel. Seriously though, I went from stabby to sappy in one quick bite.

So, on the way home, I discovered that Virginia sells 40 ozers!  Yes, I couldn’t resist. So, DC, you may have won this round, but I am not down just yet. I will be back and I will own you!

Salud!

When have I ever been too qualified

This morning I heard the strangest thing I have ever heard: I am too qualified. Let me qualify this by saying, I am to qualified to answer phones. Lets think about this for a hot minute…. when have I ever been too qualified to do anything? Is there such a thing? I would think if you have a job to fill and someone with experience to fill can, why wouldn’t you take them. Oh, too much experience? Gotcha! I see how this is.

This is just a coup on my voice and you just don’t have the balls to say, sorry we are looking for someone with a phone-sex operator voice. I have a sexy voice! Think Barry White after a pack of smokes and a whiskey hangover. Hell, if you let me drink on the job, I can give you a decent Paul Hogan circa 1986 with a strong “G’day” and “How ya going”.

I get why I was passed over and how I am too qualified, but for fuck sakes! I am 2 days away from day labor over here. I was envious of the guys cutting the grass at my apt complex today. Maybe I should call them? I am just tired (I am more than sure my friends are tired of hearing me) of worrying about a temp job, while I wait for the hotness to come through. Why should a hard worker “dumb down” their resume?

Anyways, I am just mouf’n off. I am the one that put myself in this position and the only one that can pull up on it. I have tons of time and very little money, for now. Hell, maybe I should go hang out and volunteer at the fire department while I wait. Oh well, guess I will go to the gym and work on my glamour muscles.