I admit I am not the most thoughtful or proactive thinker of the male species. Take for instance Valentines day. I had no idea that is was Saturday and only realized it about 2 days ago. I was talking with the Guyanese Mafia (GM) and this was the dialogue:
Me- Yo! What are you doing Sat? You should come out with Roomy #1 and I.
GM- My sister and I are going to meet up with some of her friends, its the BIG V day you know.
Me: Actually, I was just informed that it is the big V-Day! I had no idea until Roomy #1 told me.
GM- Are you living under a rock, have you not been inundated with the ubiquitous ads about ‘showing her you really care–buy her diamonds’??
Me: Lol, I have DVR and I don’t listen to the radio. So, I have been oblivious to it all.
Then this morning a sign at CVS read this- Saturday is Valentines Day, are you ready?
I did start thinking about the principal of the day and figured out it is really one sided. Let’s face it, ladies you make out like a looter during the Watt’s riot. Yea, I went there. I have been hearing a lot about what to get “Her.” Let’s flip the script for a moment and focus on the guys. You know, the powerless ones under the mighty vagina spell. Yea, those poor schmucks. The same guy that will drop a few Ben’s on dinner and chocolates and everything else that makes your ass huge; but then have to lie and say, “no hunny, really its not that big.” All the while imagining how many beers cans can be stacked on that massive trunk and wondering how far down the hall you will make before noticing. I bet 20 steps.
Anyways, like I was saying. I work with MANY crazy women that consistently complain about what their significant other got them previous V-days. Usually complaining about the last minute nature of said item. When I ask, “well what did you get him?” I am looked at as if I just jumped a fence wearing a shirt that says, the Ayatollah is my homeboy. Yea, ladies you are just as guilty of the last minute crime as us men. I am a repeat offender, but I have resources at my disposal.
If for some reason you run into a “last minute situation” meaning you are reading this and realizing, oh shit, maybe I should get “him” or “her” (depending on how you roll) something then the following is for you.
Introducing JP’s awesome last minute “Guy Gift” idea’s:
- Gift certificate for a straight razor shave and hair cut. Kennedy’s is the place to go for the discerning gentleman in your life. Everyone should be properly groomed.
- You just cannot beat a great Glenfiddich 18 year old scotch.
- For the golfer in your life. Yes, it is a reason to get out and hang out with the guys. I recommend the Callaway I-Traxx putter.
- Is your guy a “beer guy”? Then like me, he will enjoy this sampler.
- If he is a golfer and enjoys a good scotch, get him a flask.
- If he is like me, he could use a new watch. I suggest a Breitling.
This is just a small sampling of ideas. It is now up to you, good luck!
Then get out the trust ax and go swinging away on the closet orange tree to you. Also, add 2 oranges to the wood and squeeze the juice all over the wood. This is where it gets 
This is the point in which you need to place the pork on the opposite side of the smoker you intend to use. I prefer to put my meat close to the stove pipe (that sounds really bad). Once you have it all set up, drop those firey coals on top of the wood and oranges.
Close ‘er up and and let it go for 8 hours. Every hour or 2 check the smoke level, if it is not coming out at a decent rate, throw some more wood on the fire. It should look something like this.
Once it comes off the smoker, shred the meat off the bone (sounds uncomfortable) and place in a roasting plan large enough to hold it. Cover with foil and place back in the fridge. Next day, throw it in the oven on 225 for about 2 hours and it will then be ready to go. By placing it back in the oven, it allows all the fat to break down and re-marinate-keeps everything nice and juicy.
