***WARNING THIS IS VERY CYNICAL***
As I was driving to work today I got an email from the company I interviewed with last week. The one where I didn’t get any sleep and they changed the interview time; basically I was set up for failure because they didn’t have their shit together. They informed me that they will be going with another candidate. Essentially, I changed my vacation plans to be jerked around and wasted money and precious time. Hey1 thanks, I appreciate that, no really, thanks. Although, I did at least get the opportunity to go for it.
Moreover, there are other things in my life and people for that matter, that I really thought were different. I have known them for a while, yet I feel like I have been used. See being the nice guy some times2 will come back and blow up in your face. People often mistake kindness for weakness and will walk all over you. My roommate often tells me, “just put yourself out there and be nice to people. Let them know the real you.” The truth is I do put myself out there and I get burned a lot, but I continue to do it because each time I learn something new. People never surprise me and I am always cautiously paranoid, but have learned to keep quit and just ride out the storm.
With everything that has recently happened I feel I need to stop having faith in others.3 Time to go back to the old ways of JP. One, where I am the only one I can rely on and have blind faith in. A JP that takes big risks, but only for himself. I am tired, beaten down, but not broken. I have a goal in sight and I refuse to let things stand in my way. If people’s feelings get hurt along the way, consider this my formal apology, as there will be none given past this point.
Lesson learned on all fronts in my life.
Father,
you know where I have been and
you know what I have done
they say that you see everything
so you know I never hurt no one
What I have stolen won’t be missed
By those who had so much, so long
We’ll soon be laughing about this
They will never notice it is gone
I could bend the universe
It I can only get there first
There are some foolish fresh laid plans
My fate is firmly in your hands4
1Insert company name
2I really try to deny my asshole nature and go out of my way
3And being such a trusting sucker
4Devotchka “Undone”
The Gospel of JP 
I had a long talk with My Favorite Man in the Universe about the being nice thing. I told him that I was so tired of getting shit on because I am trusting and loving. And he said, “Well. You can start being cynical and mean, but I just don’t see that in your nature.” And together we figured out that I’d rather get hurt than turn into someone I’m not. Doesn’t make it easier.
Yeah, I am very comfortable being an asshole.
Being nice and understanding .. and then getting stepped on by people who refuse to care .. seems to be a worldwide recurring theme for the month of October.
Good luck with your plans though.. on my part, I still haven’t found out how to “not care” .
You have to learn to detach yourself from things. It takes a while to get used to, but once you do, you can then be done with people. Just have to be able to not waiver.
Sorry to hear that company fucked you over, bro. Their loss.
Its cool. I am just annoyed with the compounding of everything I guess.
Honestly, if the place was that disorganized, you didn’t want to work for them anyway.
You have a valid point.
😦 i’m sorry. i guess this means you really are meant to be a chippendale’s dancer.
❤ you!
I am okay with shaking my junk in a thong.
“People often mistake kindness for weakness and will walk all over you.” Yes. And people will judge you for being a pushover.
But I’d still rather be kind than be an ass. Most of the time.
Correct. These same people get pissed when you drop the hammer on them too. I am going with ass.
Ooohh! Chippendale’s!
Oh yeah baby!
When I feel that way, I always think of Will Smith. It’s ridiculous and relatively embarrassing to admit, but it always makes me feel better.
“Feel the strife but trust life does go wrong
But just in case
Its my place
To impart
One day some girls gonna break your heart
And ooh aint no pain like from the opposite sex
Gonna hurt bad but dont take it out on the next son
Throughout life people will make you mad
Disrespect you and treat you bad
Let God deal with the things they do
Cause hate in your heart will consume you too”
This has nothing to do with my plans to sabotage his marriage and steal him away from Jada. Not at all.
This is actually quite fitting. Some times you do want to “pass it along”. I am just letting it go and totally done with this person.
Getting used. It’s enough to make you want to just personally deliver to people what karma has in store for them.
Yes, with a bow on it. All like, here, surprise, how does it feel? Cold and enduring is my soul for this state of being.
I feel the same way sometimes. I know that because I’m nice and not pushy I won’t get as far as some people, but i’m okay with that. I’d rather be awesome.
Exactly.
I’m kind of totally ok with thinking that people suck and reserving my general kindness and awesomeness for only those who are proven. Too many people suck.
I am slowly going back to that way of thinking.